What Not To Do No. 2 • Manifestation

to-be-magnetic-hat-chair-Lacy Phillips

I thought you guys might be up for another “what not to do” lists.

BACKSTORY | This list was created when I was roughly twenty-three or twenty-four. I had been single and attracting the worst-case-scenario men for two years, which were direct mirrors of how I felt about myself and how I treated myself. You can read more about that here. One summer evening, that year, I met a guy who I thought the earth was created for. To me, he was everything. Anyone that took my shadow workshop recognizes that he was my ultimate fantasy projection. I think I pined for him for a good full year. Obsessed would be a better sentiment. I’ve only ever had that happen with one other guy. But, boy was my young twenty-something self CONVINCED that we were soulmates. Destined to live happily ever after. This particular guy did not share the same feelings. We went out twice. He hardly touched base with me. He was quite desired by most women in my surrounding community at the time. I stalked this guy, came up with embarrassing scenarios to run into him. Reached out to him for bizarre reasons. Oh man, I still die inside thinking about all of this.

I think this is a very important article for the many men and women that go through this. Especially the young ones going through it now. I’m yet to meet someone who doesn’t have this story. That one person that they thought they were destined for. But if that’s the case, then why don’t we end up together? Because The Universe sends them to us as Expanders. Meaning that you didn’t have a clear picture of what you wanted, or your subconscious wasn’t expanded into believing that such a person existed, or you’ve been fixated on the wrong stereotype, and The Universe needs you to see (in order to believe) what you are meant to open up to. They literally come to expand your subconscious.

So, the next time that a “dream” opportunity may it be a person, house, object, job, trip, or simply an opportunity in general presents itself but doesn’t work out, don’t fall into a slump or a heavy heart. It’s only expanding you so that you’re more perfect opportunity has space to come through.  I’ve experienced these countless times. And to wrap up this particular example. A year later my guy list (not this particularly embarrassing one – though Max and I are now everything on this actual list) came through. And he shared the same physical features, interests, background of the guy I pined for. They were essentially doppelgängers. But my boyfriend turned out to be much more suited for me out of the two.


LIST | In this particular list, though I blacked out details and names for privacy, I’m trying to manifest the that exact guy.


1.     Unique Subjects vs. Identical Subjects (you learn about this in the F&M workshop)

2.     Deadlines 

3.     Not Expanded

Deadlines & Beliefs | Again, don’t waste your time with deadlines. Your self-worth and the expansion of your beliefs will dictate when you manifest the list if you are meant to align with that subject. At that time, everyone I knew was starving artist, struggling to make rent, and only went on trips with their parents.

But I do have to make the note, that when Expanders come to you, it’s up to you to do the work necessary so that your self-worth can align with what you’re calling in. My boyfriend that came through in place of this Expander didn’t come through  (and wouldn’t have) until I shifted a lot in me to align with him. The exact work that I’m walking my community through in each THE TOOLS.

Manifestation with Lacy Phillips