AFLOAT • Channeling Jealousy
For those of you not familiar with my AFLOAT series, this is for those who are right in the thick of your turbulent twenties, preparing for or perhaps reflecting as you’ve passed through. I thought it was just me, but then my friends, my brother, my peers and their partners all began to open up about their own struggles during this tumultuous decade.
Let this be a conversation between all of us as we figure out who we are, what we want and the new experiences along the way as we decondition the age-old rhetoric that these years will be “The Best Years of Your Life.”
I’ve recently deactivated my Instagram and I was surprised to find it was not the answer.
We live in a hyperconnected voyeuristic society. Our obsession with other people’s lives seems to be increasing tenfold by the post and scroll. It feels part fascination and curiosity, and part an escape from our own reality. I wonder often what the root of this truly is. Is it us yearning for what our lives could be, or is it just an extension of the forever awe of the lives of those we cannot touch. That has been going on since the first age of celebrity. And - for some reason this all seems to feel that much more heightened around the holidays.
Our jealousies and insecurities can sneak out from behind our screens and join us at the dinner table: a cousin with a job you’ve been aching to have, an uncle or aunt with a newborn baby, a sister with a wardrobe you dream about. I have a hard time not holding myself up against my relatives: a lot of which are around my age.
I thought that by taking myself off Instagram, I’d shed these jealousies or obsessions I have with seemingly fictitious people. Out of sight out of mind! And although I’m truly loving my time off this platform (man does it take a lot of time from your day!), I’m realizing that it isn’t a cure-all for the insecurities I do have.
It’s been interesting getting off Instagram and doing the DRE challenge simultaneously. Your social media feed can tell you a lot about different aspects of yourself: what kind of people and lifestyles you’re drawn to, what kind of art you admire, what TRIGGERS you depending on your reaction to photos you come across. While doing my daily DRE, I realize that a lot of the TRIGGERS I felt while on Instagram were popping up in my life in other ways - say if previously I was triggered that a guy I had a crush on didn’t watch my IG story, in my post-IG life now I’m triggered he isn’t reaching out. This is a frivolous example, but regardless…you can’t escape yourself!
Instead of shying away from the triggers, jealousy and other emotional reactions I have when I’m online or at my family dinner table…I use these moments as opportunities to look inwards.
As Lacy often explains, jealousy can be a clue that you’ve found an EXPANDER. Embrace it! Most likely we are jealous because we see something in someone that we want and are either frustrated we don’t have or frustrated that we believe we can’t have. Insecurities and triggers are symbolic of areas where we’re still feeling small. Take inventory and bring these feelings through the DRE.
Don’t be afraid to reach out to anyone you find yourself feeling jealous of. Did your family member just come back from a super cool work trip and you’re green with envy? Ask them about it! Ask them how they got their job. Learn from anyone bringing about this emotion - their stories may help you on your path!
See something someone has that you want? Use the Formula and Magnetism Workshop to call it in. Nothing is out of reach. Use this time to observe what your desires are (your LIST), who your EXPANDERS might be and where you can UNBLOCK to further increase your magnetism.
Give yourself the space you need if you’re overwhelmed. Many triggers can surface during this time - offline and online. If you need a day to yourself, don’t be afraid to communicate that and act on it. But remember to also take note of what’s causing this overwhelm. When you’re ready, it will be helpful to work through it.
I’m staying off Instagram because I have a PING to do so, and I’m not missing it (except for a meme or two). But, whether online or off, use this time to take some serious inventory in preparation for the year ahead, and use UPLEVEL to make 2019 even more abundant. You’ll be an expander to your family and friends next holiday season.
$100 Off Formula & Magnetism
Every holiday season, I extend a gift to this incredible community to acknowledge how incredible you are and how proud I am of you for stepping up to do the work in order to have the life you want.
This year, I've decided that the biggest gift would be $100 off of the Formula & Magnetism all of November so that whoever would like to participate in this challenge and preparation can do it together. Simply use the code UPGRADE at checkout.
LILA SEELEY • EDITOR
A California creative with a passion for travel, art, frothy lattes and extra cinnamon.
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