Fuck That • Money and Healing
In this series, Kate brings you along on her journey to healing chronic illness. Health doesn’t have to feel like a burden, an obsession, or be the central feature of our lives. Fuck that. Health is crucial groundwork, certainly, but there is so much more.
I’m currently in this space of trying to navigate healing without putting my life on hold and honestly, it’s hard. I feel as though I’m not giving my best to any part of my life— my work and my relationships are both suffering. Feeling as though I’m not giving enough or being enough makes me question my worth and triggers feelings of scarcity around money. On both practical and energetic levels, being ill is really triggering my shadow around self-worth and money. In the most literal sense, healing is expensive. Especially when you’re dealing with something that isn’t easily diagnosed and treated by western medicine, it can begin to feel really overwhelming when your prognosis is inconclusive and expensive tests and experimental treatments seem to be the only options. It also feels infeasible to open new income portals when you’re barely able to stay awake through a normal work day.
Beyond these very tangible worries about the cost of medical treatment, the energetic triggers around scarcity are equally strong— I don’t feel like this weakened version of myself is worthy and deserving. I don’t know if I am valuable because I can’t contribute as much as I’d like. There isn’t enough of me to go around. Notice the common threads here: unworthy, undeserving, not valuable, not enough… all of these feelings of lack related to illness can also be directly applied to the energetics of money.
Lacy talks about the direct energetic relationship between worth and money, and I’m definitely feeling that as I move through this time. As I’m working through OPULENCE, I’m beginning to unravel all of these parallels between my lack mentality around money and my feelings of lack due to illness. Since money is a reflection of our self-worth, we need to start there. And although it doesn’t immediately feel like forward motion, it’s crucial that we go all the way back to the beginning to rewire our programming around abundance, worth, and finances.
We have to remember that the outer world becomes a reflection of our subconscious beliefs, so you can’t fake it till you make it or positive think your way into a new reality. We need to go deep and do the work.
As we UNBLOCK, we’re able to see how deeply enmeshed our programming around money and health are and begin to unwind our limiting beliefs. The next step is to EXPAND ourselves by seeking out people who are on healing journeys that are also financially stable and exemplify the abundance attitude we’re striving for. This can be people on Instagram, people you know, or even historical figures that you feel inspired by and connected to.
Finally, we can begin to open portals for more income. This will look vastly different depending on what type of illness you’re dealing with and where you’re at in your life , but it’s important that it a) doesn’t detract from your healing journey and b) is in alignment with your core values and interests. If you commit to things that further deplete you energetically, you won’t be able to heal as quickly.
Here is an outline of the process that I’m working through:
i. Rebuild your self-worth: I have found that illness brings to the surface so many of my deep rooted limiting beliefs about myself and makes me question my worth. Undeservingness and unworthiness lie at the core of so many of our shadowy sides, so working through the roots of these feelings can liberate us to move forward. For me, this process looks like the prioritization of my practice. I am a person that thrives on micro structure and macro spontaneity, so having a pretty rigid container for my self work practice allows me to feel freedom in other areas of my life. I do my practice in the morning before I look at my phone so I am not pulled into anything before I feel grounded. I’m currently working through the OPULENCE workshop using the Authentic Roadmap.
ii. Embody where you’re at, but get expanded so you know more is possible: One of the things I was most drawn to about Lacy’s method in contrast to other self-work practices was that she never asks us to deny the truth of where we are at or positive-think our way into a new reality. Especially when you’re in the throes of an illness, it’s often close to impossible to fake it till you make it. Lacy’s work teaches us to embody exactly where we are at, feel our feelings fully, but also know that we have the full power to change our reality. Get expanded so that you can see to believe that more is possible for you. For me, this has included online expanders such as Ruthie Lindsey, a writer and speaker who has made a an inspiring career for herself despite dealing with chronic pain. I am also really inspired by historical examples of triumph despite illness. If you’re dealing with mental rather than physical illness, a great book for expansion around illness and success is A First Rate Madness.
iii. Open portals that support your healing: Take inventory of your skills and see where there is opportunity for income that won’t exhaust you. For me, this means that I’m looking for supplementary jobs that I can do on a flexible basis, from my bed if I need to. I have a background in filmmaking and photography, so I’m beginning to look for content creation opportunities that can be done on my own schedule. My primary job here at Free and Native is supporting my healing immensely because I am surrounded by expanders in both business and health. Lacy has been super open with sharing her healing journey which has been so expansive for me. I also get to meet all the incredible people we film our podcasts with, each of whom have really amazing stories of struggle and triumph. Surround yourself with people that support you and inspire you and find new financial portals that are in alignment with your authenticity.
Make sure you’re prioritizing your healing and not overcommitting to things that don’t excite you or require too much energy. Focus on building your worth so you’re able to open up new income portals even while your physical health isn’t at its peak.
KATE HINKENS • Social Media and Blog Coordinator
Minnesotan in LA. Endlessly enthusiastic about plants, neuroscience, and holistic medicine.
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