Not Settling

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The universe's entire intention is for us to grow into our whole, authentic, powerful (self-worthy) selves. Therefore, everything it sends our way is a reflection of where we have high self-worth (our manifestations) or where our self-worth needs to be unblocked and grown (on the subconscious level).

The "vibration" to attracting our partner means our self-worth must align with their self-worth. Because we are usually calling in partners greater than where we are (or we would already be connected with them), we must learn the art of not settling and whole-heartedly grounding into our worth. 


Find your worth and how much you're bringing to the table.

I want you to write a page (bullet-points if you need to) about everything that you are bringing to the table when it comes to partnership. From energy, accomplishments, heart-centered emotions, physical, assets, etc. 

Ex 1. fun, dynamic, incredibly nurturing, generous, financially independent, beautiful, successful in my dream career... 

Ex 2. creative, spontaneous, in pursuit of my dreams, better myself daily, nice lips, incredibly accepting of all walks of life, compassionate...

Now it's your turn. Take five minutes to write out EVERYTHING. Every last ounce of what you're bringing to a partnership and why you're worthy. Total inventory — all of the positives. Read it to yourself aloud so that it has a deeper integration. 


take your power back

The biggest pitfall is settling for shiny objects, also known as tests, which you'll learn next!

It's so easy to surrender to the fantasy projection we project onto the people we meet. They are easily swooned by the stats that look good on paper but blinded by the fact that the person in front of them has no intention of meeting their emotional needs - or committing. Because most of us were programmed with Disney movies, fate, and happily-ever-after, it becomes so easy to settle for tests rather than to pass them.


Here are just a few I've heard in the last week:

CLIENT 1 • He's in finance, 43, wants a family, doesn't sleep around, successful, was engaged six years ago but they realized that they made better friends. (Looks good on paper fantasy projection). THE RED FLAGS: Hasn't made any moves on me, schedules with me last minute, got freaked out when I told him about health struggles in the past, and put zero effort into meeting my needs or making me feel special. Emotionally guarded and has a bad relationship with his family. (Emotionally unavailable shiny test/ He's just not that into you/ loves having your comfort around).

CLIENT 2 • She's super hot, great job, really fun and dynamic. We got stoned on our first date and went disco rollerskating. Amazing job and everything I want out of a woman. THE RED FLAGS: she's really distant and never available. (She's just not that into you/thinks you'd make a great guy friend).  

CLIENT 3 • He's on a TV show, my astrological sun sign soulmate, was SUPER into it at first, has all the things on my list. (Looks good on paper fantasy projection). THE RED FLAGS: I could feel him pulling away, and he also said that he's seeing other women. (Emotionally unavailable shiny test/ He's just not that into you/ loves having your comfort around and sleeping with you).

CLIENT 4 • We've been friends, attached at the hip for a year now. He's so attractive. Everything on my list. And he bought a house down the street from mine. We hang out every day and have the best connection. THE RED FLAGS: He's never made a move on me. EVER. Had his heart badly broken a few years ago.  (Emotionally unavailable/ he's just not that into you/ loves having your comfort around).

All of the above are examples of settling and hanging onto the thread of fantasy projections rather than leading with the fact that THEY themselves ARE already the fantasy that they desire. There is no way they're going to settle until suitors show up with the full package - everything they desire on paper as well as having their emotional needs and commitment met. 

The vibration of "settling" usually comes down to this energetic: desperate that something as good won't come around again, desperately wanting commitment so badly, putting more value into what this person is bringing to the table 'on paper' than the 'complete package' that you're bringing to the table. 

Take your power BACK and STOP SETTLING!!!!



  1. Tear out or print out the list that you created of the partner you're calling in.

  2. Bring out the one-page list of everything you are bringing to the table - that immense value.

  3. Place both up somewhere where you can reference them often (but where you won't be embarrassed if someone happens to see them). You will be using these as a cross-reference anytime a new suitor presents themselves.

EVERY TIME SOMEONE NEW COMES INTO YOUR LIFE through apps, setups, blind dates, or pure magic, you need to refer to this list and inventory of your value and cross-check if these suitors ARE your list and if they are meeting you by openly and emotionally giving you as much as you're bringing to the table. If not, you're settling (and not passing tests)!

This is a safe community, created to encourage communication between each other and to share experiences. Please leave questions and comments below for your fellow friends to respond based on their personal experience. Constructive and nurturing feedback only. For more connection, head over to the growing Secret Society Manifestation Facebook Group! Lacy will not be answering comments or questions or navigating your personal circumstances. Those can be done in a session.

Looking for even more manifestation support? Submit your questions through Supported – a subscription-based manifestation class with lacy twice a month that supports the grey area available inside The Pathway Membership. Your most pressing questions dictate the content each month.

Lacy Phillips13 Comments