I Manifested my Dog, a Soul Companion
Wow. Where to start. As a kid I had heaps of teddy bears, they sat at the end of my bed (taking up half my bed) with each one having its own particular position in the pack. I remember mum getting me a little bedroom welcoming teddy bear with a phrase on it, something like “teddy bears live in here”. Its arms were connected so that it could hang over my bedroom door handle. I loved it, but after a while I got mum to alter it on her sewing machine to give it normal arms so that I could put it with the rest of my teddy bears. It seemed unfair that it was separated from the rest of the pack and I felt bad that it was lonely.
I guess I’ve been wanting my own tight little pack since I was a kid. On my bookshelf I collected dog ornaments, and was OCD about them having their own little spots too. The 2 biggest ones were my favorite – a golden retriever and a black and white one which I called at the time a “snow sled dog”. I loved dogs and had heaps of different ornaments, but these 2 were the ones I wanted in real life. I was mesmerized by north American sled dogs and was convinced I would have one. That is until my family informed me that I literally could not have picked a more unsuitable dog to want – we live on the complete opposite side of the planet to their native home and the complete opposite climate to their native climate (tropical climate in Australia).
I never stopped wanting one though, I just stopped talking about it as much as I grew up. When I was 9 we got our family dog, a Labrador x golden retriever so I atleast got to live out one of my dog dreams. About 8 years ago I developed chronic pain after a dental injury which has been the bulk of my life and lessons and still is, I’m still very much in the process of overcoming it. Its an extremely isolating and lonely experience to go through. I wanted so deeply for the people closest to me to understand what I was going through, but what you learn through chronic pain and unique injuries is that no one can ever truly understand what you go through as hard as they may try.
Through that process and over time I came to understand that I really wanted and needed just unconditional love, comfort, and consistency. I no longer felt like I needed people to understand what I was going through, just the unconditional love and comfort and to have that around all the time. I resisted for ages that a dog would be the perfect fit for me – because I didn’t think I was responsible enough for one, or stable enough, overall I think I just didn’t feel deserving of my own dog. A lot of people warned me against getting a dog because they restrict your availability in the world to do whatever you want and go wherever you want for as long as you want. But all that started to subconsciously shift when I started doing Lacy’s work.
I didn’t come into this work trying to manifest a dog, but something always felt like it was missing when I was doing my DI’s, I felt lonely. Then a dog started showing up every time I got off my magic carpet. It was a big, stoic, loyal, wise, protective wolf dog. It became the guardian of my DI’s and is there every single time. The funniest thing is sometimes when I hadn’t meditated for a while, it would show me that it recognized that I hadn’t visited it for a little while. I’ve always followed @loki on Instagram but last year started following his human parents aswell, and more and more recognized how much their lifestyle is exactly the lifestyle I want to live – nature adventures, exploring, camping, 4WD’ing, van life, all of that.
Gradually my Instagram filled up with accounts of people and dogs living that lifestyle, and as a result I gradually came to realise that I could give a dog a really great life – I spend a lot of time in nature and exploring because it helps with my pain and where I live is an adventure/nature playground, and I’ve been a nature tour guide for the last 5 years. I’ve lived here most of my life and still find new places to explore all the time and I never get bored of it. I realized I was lonely when I explore and how much better it would be to bring a dog along and show it all my favourite places. I’ve travelled a lot for previous jobs and for my pain treatment so the mainstream idea of travel and vacation is extremely boring to me now. The type of travel I want to do is backcountry, 4WD access, nature exploring so I was able to release other people’s warnings about a dog being restrictive and realise my circumstances are very different to theirs. I was really starting to get pings about dogs coming into our life to help absorb and process our pain and how it was time for me to let a dog start helping me heal.
Eventually, I wrote my list for a dog and started to consciously call it in. I wanted a female pure bred malamute with gorgeous piercing eyes that howls, loves water, for $500, 8 weeks old when I got her – microchipped, wormed, jabs ect. It took a bit of expanding and research to learn that its totally ok to have malamute’s in the tropics and how to look after them in this climate and all the unique things that come with being a malamute owner. It still seemed like such a long shot because malamute puppies NEVER come up for sale where I live, and the usual cost for one is $1500 - $2000. I would check gumtree (australia’s craiglist) occasionally but they were always in distant cities and always $1500. Although I wasn’t really tested with other puppies, this year I’ve had to push through some extremely uncomfortable and challenging blocks in my life. I broke up with my boyfriend earlier this year and had to remove him from my life. I had to speak my truth to my father and create boundaries with him that resulted in losing our relationship – extremely challenging because of his involvement in my finances and with my pain treatment, even having to go through a major surgery in another city without him when he was the one who had planned to be there and my doctors expected him to be there. Dad and my boyfriend had been there for my previous surgery and recovery last year so it was hard to make the decision that they weren’t welcome for this one, but I knew I had to do it. I had to ask my brothers and mum to step up for me and help me in what was happening with my dad – something I felt way too small to do but pushed through.
My pain makes it very difficult for me sit down and do the journaling and DI’s consistently but regardless I’ve been contemplating my blocks and taking action in my daily life this year more so than ever before to try and move past my limited small self. I’m now recovering from my surgery and was feeling flow and magnetism since the surgery, but wasn’t really noticing anything significant come through. Then I heard Lacy mention again that if you’re in this state then jumping off a cliff will get the magnetism moving. I thought this was strange since I felt like I had jumped off all the ones I had this year and couldn’t think of anymore. I asked the universe if there was a cliff I needed to jump off to get what I’m calling in. Not long after, I logged into my dropbox to try find an old file, and stumbled across a recording of a session I had with a medium a couple of years ago, so I decided to listen to it again.
In it she seemed very confused that I lived where I do because my soul wanted to be living on the Gold Coast where I could access better treatment for my pain. At the time when I saw her I was very much looking to relocate to the Gold Coast so that I could really focus on my treatment and put myself first. She said to me that there were 2 animals in front of me (my childhood cat and dog who have passed) and they told her that there will be a new fur-friend coming to me, and that I would need a fur baby friend with me for the Gold Coast, she could see it being a big part of me moving or being there. After that session with her a couple of years ago I COMPLETELY forgot about all of this, and even thought I had lost the recording, and since the session for the past couple of years got myself caught up in settling for the wrong men, and completely disregarding my desire to go to the Gold Coast, putting it way on the back burner, because I knew my dad wouldn’t agree with it until my surgery and orthodontic treatment is finished (another 12 months), and I just stopped thinking about, telling myself it was my own decision that the Gold Coast wasn’t a fit for me anymore.
Looking back now, I can see that I was actually just pushing it out because I knew it would create conflict with my dad and would require me to let go of the men I was settling for here at home. For a couple of days after listening to the recording I started to realise all of this and that the cliff I need to jump off is to go to the Gold Coast for treatment at a pain clinic I’ve been wanting to go to for years, and put healing my body as my number 1 priority and do for it what I know it needs, not other people’s opinions of what it needs or what timeline I should follow. I made a decision that I would start the ball rolling with the Gold Coast, that I’d organize a consult with the clinic when I visit next month and start calling in the vehicle I need for it. After I consciously made that decision, the next morning my best friend sent me a gumtree/craigslist ad for malamute puppies in the NEXT SUBURB over from where I live. When I tried to access the ad, it had already been taken down. I was like “universe what the fuck is this all about?!?!”. My besty didn’t mention that when she saw the ad the puppies were listed for $1500, which is interesting because if she did tell me that I wouldn’t have bothered checking again.
Later that night I was telling my housemates about it when I got the ping to check again. Sure enough, the ad was relisted 1 hour ago, and for $500 each. I messaged the owner immediately and arranged to go see the puppies a couple of days later. Even though I knew what I wanted, I was open to whichever puppy chose me since there was 1 boy and 2 girls. In the photos one of the puppies had beautiful blue eyes and was sitting under a hose with a wet head suggesting it liked water. Sure enough, that puppy was a girl and was the one that chose me. I knew if she chose me I was going to name her Lexi, so imagine my surprise when the owner told me her parents names are Luna and Lobo. Both 4-letter names starting with L. I knew right then she wasn’t a test. She was my dog that I’ve been calling in, everything on my list. The owner said I was the second person to message him, then the next day woke up to about 50 messages. Yesterday she came home with me to start her new life.
In the recording with the medium, she spoke about my innate child-like nature being super calm and chill and easy-going, which I was when I young but have lost over the years through my struggle with hormone imbalance and chronic pain. I can only hope this is all indicative that I am coming home to myself, that with all this inner child work I’m coming to rediscover myself and my true nature. I manifested the real-life teddy bear I’ve always dreamt of – a snow sled dog, right here at home. Life is better in this little pack, and the partner I’m calling into our pack now doesn’t seem like such a distant dream. Funnily enough I’ve always intuitively felt since I was a kid that my husband would be north American too, but thought I’d have to go over there and find him or something. If I can call in my dog right to where I am, now I know I can do the same with a partner. The most important message I want to share if you have an illness or injury that impacts your ability to do the work, this shit still works, even if you’re not an A+ student. I certainly am not. Show up in whatever capacity you can and the universe will recognize it.💕🐺
-Hannah F
