A Manifestation During Uncertain Times
A manifestation in uncertain times: (Quite a long post but I hope it is motivational)
Hello my friends, I wanted to share a series of manifestations that have come through for me in the midst of this anxiety-ridden time. ( As well as over the last two years while dealing with a toxic partnership) I hope I can be an expander for you.
I began this work a little over two years ago, it gave me the courage to begin putting my art in the public eye after a lifetime of anxiety over whether my work was "good enough." I was traditionally a sculptor, but after many cross country moves, I found it necessary to pick up digital design. I still craved the tactile nature of 3-dimensional objects, so I began finding ways to print my work in other forms. I created a scarf and posted it on my Instagram, not knowing where this single post would take me.
A week later, a new boutique in town was opening up that promised to only carry local goods. They had been looking for a scarf designer and had stumbled upon me through Insta. (Mind you, I had only experimented with one scarf design at this point) They asked that I create a line for their store, and I jumped to it as my sign to make my work public. I created five new scarf designs, branded my business, started a website, manufactured them, and have a functioning, legitimate business in two weeks. (These women would go on to become my best friends and family- another manifestation I was calling in).
Fast forward to 2 months later, a new shop on the opposite coast in Maine is opening and stumbles across me online. They love my work and place my first large order, with a custom design on top. Through them, my scarf makes its way into the hands of my most idolized influencer, who I had previously written in my manifestation list, that I would like to wear and post about my work.
A year or more passes, I am still grinding, still growing, my business slowly grows but doesn't skyrocket the way that I hope it will. Smaller manifestations are still coming through, but nothing life-changing. I (knowingly) suspect that this is because I have been locked in a toxic and abusive romantic relationship the whole time this has been going on, one that I am currently leaving. Still, I see the light at the end of the tunnel and persevere.
My manifestation list begins to grow, filled with tiny details and a slew of nuanced requests from the universe. I write that I would like to partner with a major company. Google hits me up… They fall through… Joanna Gaines, the goddess herself, hits me up… She personally rejects my work.. Then suddenly, an email appears from The Frank Lloyd Wright Foundation. They have seen my work and would like me to become their latest artisan collaborator with the site Taliesin West. (local to me). I spit out my tea, I scream, I immediately call them.
Less than a week later, I am in the middle of Taliesin's gift shop, eager to meet the shop coordinator and tour the grounds of one of architecture's most influential creators' homes. During that tour, it becomes official that I will create a line of scarves for their shop. I get started on the process, make my first delivery, and begin selling.
Then COVID-19 hits and we all begin to panic. During this entire time, I have been keeping my previous job as a flight attendant, which I avoid going to at all costs. My job has given me severe chemical poisoning (that's another story) and the thought of stepping foot on an airplane makes my head pulse with an ice pick-like pain that I can barely keep my eyes open.
Store closures sweep the nation and I begin to panic that I won't see my next paycheck for a long, long time. I especially worry that Taliesin West has placed an enormous order with me, which I have fronted the cost of, and am scared to ask if they will still receive my order, and most importantly, will I get paid?
I tackle the Unblocked Shadow Workshop aggressively. I know there is a lot of shit to sift through, and every day I am exhausted by it. Can one small girl really produce this many tears?? One day in the midst of the workshop, I say to myself, "You are going to get paid, you are going to get through this crisis, your work is valuable." I immediately write my contact at Taliesin, forcing a confidence in my fingers that I have never known. He gets back to me promptly. Of course, they will still receive my order! He is prioritizing my being paid during this time! I am valuable and deserve to be compensated for my work! Not only that, but he has sent my work to the CEO of the FLW Foundation and they would like me to license my work for the entire FLW accessory line WORLDWIDE! I am dying with not only excitement but relief. (There is still a part of me that is just relieved that I will be able to pay my regular bills from this- short term goals)
I go about my day feeling strong and proud that I asked for what I needed.
That night as I get ready for bed, I see a notification on my instagram... It's.. a tag with Design Milk…?? One of my most revered architectural publications! They have published my work on their social media and website! The likes, follows, orders and congratulations are coming like rapid-fire! At that moment, I can barely breathe and can't hear over the sound of my own joyous screaming.
There is a deep part of me that (especially right now) says, "Wow, that was amazing but what about next week? And will this client or company follow through?" But I am taking it one workshop and DI at a time, being bold, asking for what I need to, and saying yes to ALL my pings.
If I look back through my manifestation list throughout the year, it's crazy to see what has come to me. Especially in the last few months as I have truly taken action to follow my intuition and quell my anxiety when large potential collaborations fall through.
I just want each and every one of you to know that this work WORKS! We can have everything we want when we get out of the way. And the best part is that we don't actually have to work that hard for it. The inner work is exhausting and painful, but once you get that over with, the actual real-world work becomes so easy. Set your intention, open your portals. and most importantly, DO THE WORK!
I love you all and can't wait to see you thrive.
