Clearing Everything Brought In So Much More
I started your work exactly one year ago and the changes in my life since then, internally and externally, have been so exciting and profound.
A year ago I was living in New York (ten years in) grateful for many things in my life but feeling unbelievably stuck, frustrated, and exhausted. I’m an actress and have had periods of wonderful flow and success but at the time was taking multiple odd jobs again to make things work and considering quitting on my dream since childhood. I started with How to Manifest and immediately knew I was in a relationship that had to end, and so ended it, albeit difficult. For the next 6 months I followed the Formula with Inner Child (beautiful), Shadow (difficult and amazing, I come back to it often for more), No (incredible- hallelujah!), the Free Road Map, Love, and Rut.
I knew I wanted a lot of things to change in my life and that there was a version of me waiting to be claimed. I wanted true partnership/family, a mega career upgrade, and most importantly, an inner sense of strength and knowing of myself and worth regardless of any outer world manifestations. Through your page and links to free guidance, I also had a ping to connect with my friend Jeff Kober who guided me to start Vedic meditation, and as you've said, it truly works beautifully with your practices.
For a year, I put myself out there, went on dates but slept with no one. For a year I kept my odd jobs, got tiny little short films and went on a million more auditions met with no’s. For a lot of the time I felt like I was in one big rock bottom mixed with tests pings and magic darks. I cleared everything out of my life that originated from places of low- worth or even trying to fix myself. Friendships, classes, habits. Then, 9 months into the work, I woke up and realized I was going to move to LA.
It wasn’t something I had been debating or thinking about at all, it just hit me as a deep knowing, “in three months you’re going to move to LA. Get everything ready to go.” This kind of thing didn’t usually happen to me but I felt sure of it. To be clear; it was not a move motivated by desperation, it wasn't from a place of wanting to go to fix anything/try to get a Job/man/anything.
Through doing your work, I realized I needed to be there for myself, my mental and emotional health, and because by doing the work and clearing space my intuition was getting much stronger. I felt “something was waiting for me there”.
As soon as this knowing occurred and plans started to actualize, things started to get incredibly magnetic. Really a radical shift. All the tests I had passed and little momentums built here and there that had felt almost like nothing at the time suddenly accumulated and made me feel I was on a mountain top.
So many dates started to come in, my acting work got wayyyyyy better. I started getting close frequently to bigger projects. What felt like unasked for gifts from the Universe started pouring in (I'm a specific manifester but I always add on my list "better than I could have imagined"). My neighbor who'd lived upstairs for ten years got a job with the LA times and was moving the SAME month and offered to put my stuff on the moving trucks they were providing for her. My grandmother stopped driving and offered me her beautiful car. A room in my best friends beautiful apartment opened up, second story, in the trees ( I was living ground floor in NY and wanted light and space) bigger and cheaper than my place in NY and way under what I was thinking to pay!
The move approaches, but before it happens I decide to take a two week long road trip with my Dad through Colorado and Utah, for fun, and healing and because I’ve always wanted to. Again, a choice for ME! Even though I didn’t have a big job lined up, I had a fuck you fund and felt totally deserving of a magical trip with my dad, and rare quality time with him.
On the road trip an audition comes in for a short film. I tape it somewhere in the middle of Utah and get it. Finally, I get to LA after a trip I’ll remember for the rest of my life, and my third audition in LA, one week in, I book a major recurring role on a number one multiple Emmy award winning show. It was the biggest thing in my career yet in terms of visibility (my background is theater and independent films and fear of success and being seen was something I worked through, and continue to touch base with in Shadow), and more importantly a show that is TOTALLY aligned with my values as a person and authentic code, a role that was as if written for me, it fit so perfectly. It all suddenly came effortlessly.
After months of work, I literally and truly let go of needing work or love to be a certain way, made choices purely in honor of caring for my highest self, jumped off a lot of cliffs and then, when I didn’t feel I *needed* it to have a sense of myself and worth, things came. Much, much more work to do always and growth to be had, but that doesn’t scare me anymore! It excites me! I feel empowered and a sense of agency from your work and teachings in a way I never have before. It feels divine, miraculous, and completely earthly at the same time, and I thank you for it from the bottom of my heart.
P.S. Funny curveball from the universe, after a year of not sleeping with anyone, and two weeks before I left for LA, I met someone that I had alignment and connection with in ways I’ve never felt before. The feelings were mutual. We are dating and If he’s not going to end up my life partner (bit early to tell) he is at least a wonderful person and great expander.
-Auden T
WORKSHOPS
How to Manifest / Inner Child / Shadow / Love / Uplevel
