Manifesting Flowers Challenged My Subconscious
IT FINALLY HAPPENED, Y’ALL! My first micro-manifestation…and intentional manifestation. Period. This was really difficult for me. My list of manifestations includes some large-ticket items and for whatever reason, they don’t feel like big stretches of faith to me. I have no problem believing that I’ll get the apartment I want for the price I want and the car I want for the price I want. I’ve got my Expanders and my antenna is up and I’m ready to receive and am not thinking twice. But when it came to the micro-manifestation I chose—<< receiving flowers from a person >>—I REALLY REALLY saw my LACK of self-worth rise to the surface.
For a million reasons, I equate receiving flowers as a romantic gesture in my subconscious (even though I’ve received flowers from NON-romantic people MORE in my life than from romantic ones)…so manifesting flowers after breaking up with my boyfriend and going on “a break” from dating REALLY challenged my subconscious. Suddenly, this tiny mico-manifestation felt bigger and harder to get than a FREE car. But I held firm to it…and even though I wasn’t INTENDING to call in a new partner, I could tell immediately that all of my self-worth is wrapped around my limited romantic ideations—and as long as that stayed low and imbalanced, then even the non-romantic stuff would be difficult for me to call in.
So… I took my dating off hold, said “no” to some obvious tests—because, no, bro…I will not “calm down” when you say a lame, sexist joke and I silently roll my eyes at you. I cut some romantic cords that I didn’t realize I was still tied to. I got a text from my most recent ex and very lovingly told him that I was worth more than his “missing me at 3:00 am.” I gently told him what I still wanted in a partnership and that if he’s not willing to give me that then he needs to not contact me again. He apologized for breaking my boundary line.
I am now in the middle of working through some more dating tests that are a little less obvious and less easy than the first ones, but I’m holding firm to my list and adding to it as I learn more and grow further and am, for the first time, not feeling stressed or pressured about relationships!! THEN TODAY IT HAPPENED! At work, I walked into a meeting and there were some cute little flowers on the tables. I ALMOST thought about asking for a small bouquet but then remembered that I was manifesting that someone would GIVE them to me…not that I would ASK for them…so I kept my mouth shut. And as I was exiting the meeting, my sweet co-worker said, “Hey MD! Would you like one of these flower bouquets for your desk? You can totally have one.” SCORE. I feel like the Universe just nodded at me.
