Out of an Abusive Relationship & Into Manifesting My Boyfriend and Our Dream House
I have had two major manifestations besides some smaller ones over the past couple years. I manifested my boyfriend and we manifested our dream house together! I consider my partner to be the most kismet manifestation that still makes me catch my breath on a daily basis because we are so perfectly matched. It was just shortly before I discovered Lacy’s work that I called him in but looking back, his appearance in my life mirrored exactly the stepping into your self worth process and magnetism that results from doing so that Lacy describes. I had been in a 10 year marriage with a narcissist and I had struggled for years with his emotional abuse, gaslighting, and extreme disregard for my well being. My health was deteriorating and I felt stuck in my personal life. I always had the feeling like a hand was holding me underwater. I am a very sensitive, empathetic person and I got drawn into the cycle of trying to “help” my husband become a better person and deal with his trauma. The final straw was when he started cheating on me with a woman he met while we were vacationing in Hawaii celebrating our 10 year anniversary. We have two children which I homeschooled and I was a stay-at-home mother. I had tried everything to make our relationship work for the sake of our kids but something finally clicked in my mind when this information was brought to my attention. It is a dramatic, stranger than fiction story but just to cut to the chase here- I suddenly realized he wasn’t capable of loving me or meeting me where I was at. I had spent years reading all the relationship books and trying to be the most loving, conscious wife I could be. I became more and more expanded about what was possible in a committed relationship through John Gray, Harville Hendrix, Alison Armstrong, etc. it became increasingly painful that none of my efforts were being reciprocated, instead I was just being taken advantage of left and right. Looking back I see that I was not being loving towards myself by staying in a marriage with this man.
One month after we split up, I was reading an article in Elephant Journal about narcissism which my friend had sent me a link to. I was lamenting to another friend that I had never even been on a date since I had two long term boyfriends including my husband who I had known through school and had known my husband since we were 13. She suggested I join a dating website just to get over my resistance and take my mind off the turmoil of my life being turned upside down. I noticed while reading this article on narcissism that Elephant Journal had a dating site called Meet Mindful so my friend said she’d pay for my first month and I signed up. I didn’t actually write a list of what I was looking for and wasn’t in a million years expecting to meet someone that I would start a relationship with. When I read my boyfriend’s profile I thought it must be a practical joke because I could have written it myself. We had so much in common, and he seemed so genuine and caring. I sent him a message saying so and told him if we didn’t hit it off romantically, we were meant to be good friends. We were each other’s first dates on our very first experience with online dating. Right from the start I felt like he was my guardian angel. I had never met such a thoughtful, generous man. I felt totally adored and respected and trusted him right away. To this day he is the exact same person he presented himself to be and treats me and my two children like gold. We are both artists and have complimentary qualities and lifestyles. His strengths are my weaknesses and vice versa. I couldn’t have put all the qualities he possesses on a list and I never would have survived the difficulty of divorcing a narcissist and all the hateful, ugliness that was directed towards me.
My one test came from the one other man I met and went on a couple dates with during this time period. This man was also a great match and was a naturopathic doctor and acupuncturist, he had many wonderful qualities and we clicked but he had a small daughter, lived a couple hours away, and I knew he was dating other people and he was very busy and infrequent in his communication. Even though he had lots to offer and was very successful, loved to travel, was interested in meditation, healthy living etc. I felt that I needed someone who had more space in their lives for me and my children. I didn’t have the same implicit trust for him so I let him go. From then on it was obvious my boyfriend and I were in each other’s lives for a reason. The universe was just waiting for me to let go of my unhealthy relationship to make room for what I truly deserved. I had been so stuck on the idea that I could transform my marriage and make it into something mutually loving and a safe space but that was never going to happen. I’ve had so many realizations and periods of growth working through the Unblocked workshops and unpacking why I got caught up in such an abusive relationship to begin with. All so life changing!!
