Stepping Into My Worth in Friendship & Career
Hi fellow manifestors, sorry for the long post, but after months of doing the work, I'm so excited to share #mymagneticstory! After stumbling upon Lacy's podcast in January and binge listening to every episode, I decided to commit and join the Pathway. While I knew that I had some self-worth/esteem issues, I never realized how integral they were to literally all of the aspects of my life until starting Inner Child and some of the other workshops. Prior to starting, I went through a challenging time at work. Rather than getting a state-mandated raise at the end of the year like I was supposed to, I was given a demotion so they could avoid spending more money on my raise even though my performance review ranked me quite high, and it was required legally.
In retrospect, I should have quit then and there. While I liked my boss and coworkers, it was my first job out of college and really drilled at my self-confidence the entire time I was there. There were threats of being fired for not putting in enough work coming consistently every few months after having mandatory weekend work and 12 hr days pretty frequently. This was the breaking point, with the pathway work only supporting my realization that by staying, I was out of my worth. It really changed my perspective on the whole situation.
Through the workshops, I started to reprogram and say no to the crazy hours with no overtime and started looking for a new job. In the meantime, my boyfriend and I decided to get an apartment together. We made our list and continued the work. After months of working on both manifestations with loads of tests, other mini manifestations, and what seemed like an endless magic dark, came the bigger test. What's interesting is while the things I was working on manifesting were more career/ finance and partnership related, this test came in the form of a friendship that no longer served me.
Basically, my best friend from college was getting married. After moving away (like 3 hr drive), we stayed in touch, and she would always make a big deal about how I was her best friend and how grateful she was I was in her life, and I felt the same. Recently we hung out, and it came to my attention that the actions no longer matched the words. I got the impression she was using me as an emotional cushion to always build her up with my genuine excitement for her. I think I'm someone she felt like she could "win" with in terms of who had the better life or hit the milestone first which was easy for her considering I don't subscribe to thinking like that and am generally pretty humble about things.
Anyway, this was apparent when she excluded me from the bridal party for "friends" who she'd openly complain and talk badly about. Then she went out of her way to try to include me in things like the bachelorette party or the rehearsal dinner, which I was the only nonfamily/bridal party person invited. It just felt more like I was invited to be around as the token "good supportive friend" rather than because she actually valued me. Thanks to the pathway, I'm proud to say I found the strength not to attend either, even though I wanted to support her.
Using some of the DI journal prompts a few days before the wedding, I was able to overcome some of the major triggers associated with attending and feeling not good enough. Not only was I surprised to attend and be genuinely happy and have a fantastic time, but after that, all of my manifestations came hurtling through right in the middle of July eclipse season! Literally the DAY AFTER the wedding I got a call from a recruiter about a job. She didn't even give me the description but asked if I wanted to apply and being right in the middle of packing to head home, I agreed half-heartedly figuring why not.
Right after I hung up, I got a ping that this was my job! I was shortlisted later that week for a phone interview and ultimately offered the job. It matches the list exactly and is with a company that has none of the finance issues of my previous job. The whole process, I felt so in flow no worrying like I normally would. The best part is that my recruiter told me that they had been looking for a person for this role for months, and each round couldn't find the right fit, so they extended their search until they found me, making this feel even more kismet and in flow.
To make things more magical, I got the actual job offer just after my bf, and I found the perfect apartment in budget that matched the list from January exactly! So the last few weeks have been busy and kinda crazy with moving and wrapping things up at the old job, but I'm psyched for the new journeys ahead! I'm also so grateful to Lacy and this community for constantly being so supportive and expansive! I look forward to continuing to manifest my dream life with you all!
