Breaking Out of A Rock Bottom To Find My Dream Home
Are you currently a Pathway Member?: Yes
What was on your manifestation list?: One year ago, after spiraling downwards over the holidays to suicidal depths, totally desperate, I subscribed to the pathway at the behest of my closest friend (who had been doing the work for a while, but I had previously tuned her out.) I was obviously in a rock bottom, but beyond my desire to exit this low place, I was also hoping to:
Uncover my life's PURPOSE (I'd been energetically banging my head against the wall for years to no avail)
To release harmful behaviors like the overconsumption of alcohol and cigarettes.
To form healthy communication skills within my relationships (vs. holding everything in until I became the breathing ghost of my martyr-bound mother who wreaked havoc on my loved ones and myself).
The major items on my list (that all came in, even if I didn't choose to pursue them in the end) were: get into culinary school for free, find a group of older female friends who were academics/healers, buy a house, find my life's purpose, start my own freelance copywriting business, etc.
What workshops did you use and what blocks did you discover during the DIs & workshops?: I did the How to Manifest(1x), Unblocked Inner Child (x2), Unblocked Shadow (x4 I mean I still return to the mirror work, the mirror work is the most powerful aspect), and so much started to happen right away. Inner Child was huge; through the work, I healed my broken relationship with my father. I went into my magnetic childhood every night, tears streaming down my face; I saw my parents happy, in love, and in love with me. Everyone was shiny, and there was soft laughter surrounding our sweet little family. This memory, one I never had the chance to treasure before, was mine.
My subconscious created a beautiful alternate/simultaneous future where everyone was happy, respectful, and took the time to SEE one another. I still cherish all of these "memories" as if they were real. Soon after, I went to visit my father for the first time in 6 years. Now, we have a really lovely relationship; it's so easy, and he came to me. I don't need anything more from him; I was able to give it to myself. Eventually, after about ten months, I arrived at the story of my birth, which I didn't even realize had programmed me for loneliness from the start. I was able to reprogram my birth story, and in doing so, I believe, my mother was also given some release vicariously. Shadow was also critical.
I did the mirror work for weeks. I'd spend 30 minutes hurling what seem like insults at myself until the words became so abstract the meaning and the history and the power just evaporated. If anyone is in need of a growth spurt -- the mirror work will get you there.
What expanders did you find?: I just sort of found fragment expanders everywhere, all around me. I think if you are open, you will find what you're looking for. Lacy was an expander for me, and her forest retreat house manifestation, our backgrounds were quite similar. I moved to Finland from New York a few years ago to be closer to nature, and Finland is full of people who own second homes in the woods or live full-time in the country; it's also full of powerful women who have no problem going after what they want.
What tests did you face? Which did you pass? Not pass?: It's hard to articulate how tests appeared to me. A lot of the tests I had to pass were centered on expressing myself, communicating my feelings honestly, and living my authenticity. So, not choosing to be passive, passive-aggressive, not bottling up or shutting down, etc. Most importantly, I feel free to change my mind -- about everything, regardless of the circumstances. If it doesn't feel right, and you KNOW, don't waste time/energy. I really was able to grasp how I was allocating my energy, where my blocks were, and how to free up water-logged channels so that a path would be cleared for my manifestations to pour in.
Did you experience a magic dark period? If so, tell us about it.: Six months into the work, I fell into a major rock bottom: binge-drinking, binge-eating, shadow circus marathon, total emotional shutdown, even my eating disorder habits from many years ago resurfaced ––all in one weekend! I found myself in a place seemingly darker and more intense than my original rock bottom, where I started the work! So, I went back in, starting with Inner Child, Rock Bottom, and Rut. I realized the culinary path was not for me. I needed money, called in new work writing, which lit me up instantly and still provided me lots of time and freedom. Soon I started my own copywriting company. THEN in October, I finally got *the* PING that my long-term manifestation/dream of living in a house I owned in the middle of the forest was coming closer, and it was time to make moves now.
How did your manifestation come through?: My partner and I saw two homes before walking into our dream house. It was about 45% more than what I wanted to spend, and I told myself no at first. Then, together we EXPANDED our worth in about two days, and an entire VISION / PATH opened up: we were going to open an artist residency in nature. A project that combined everything we love, all of our experience, all of our relationships into one perfectly tailored package. The past few months have been full-time manifesting.
I was doing Unblocked Money/Uplevel often and keeping a keen eye on all the energetics in my life/ communications from the universe around me. I was also using a technique called focusing (it's similar to the DI's but led by the body) to stay in balance while plugging in and letting go. We announced our project to the world: TUO TUO Kulttuuri Tila [space for cultural cultivation] & Residency in Joutsa, Finland this month. I am elated to say I am finally living my dream/ in my worth/ trusting with allI have. Phew :)
If you'd like, please include your IG handle:: @tuotuoarts
WORKSHOPS
How to Manifest / Inner Child / Uplevel / Pathway / Money
