Redefining My Job, My Home, & a New Partner
Name: Megan Buys
Are you currently a Pathway Member?: Yes
What was on your manifestation list?: I have had many small things on my list that have come through, but the main three things were:
-A new job that was more aligned to my values and skills, working with a young and inspiring team (expanders), with an office that brought me joy when I walked into it.
-A new apartment in a specific part of Sydney, with a gym, included lots of natural light, a balcony, bath, and modern facilities.
-A loving, supportive, fun relationship.
All the above I had very specific lists for, which I'll go into detail with below!
What workshops did you use and what blocks did you discover during the DIs & workshops?: I began the work with How To Manifest and then jumped straight into Unblocked Inner Child and Unblocked Love simultaneously. I focused a lot on Unblocked Love, as I noticed my severe lack of worth in this area.
Through Inner Child, I dug down to the bone of my infant memories and uncovered a core memory that I have been looping on until now - without going into too much detail; I experience a traumatic medical procedure that would now be classified as unethical and a form of sexual assault. In that moment, when I was three, I gained the belief that I was entirely powerless and especially powerless to men. From this block, I just kept adding layers and layers of similar experiences throughout my teenage years and early 20s that embedded this powerless belief. Whether that be through the way, I related to men and the boyfriends I had as if I were entirely submissive to their wants, or I would feel the need to be in extreme control of every aspect of my life in order to get this power back that was taken from me.
I just kept swinging back and forth from accepting all my power should be given away and then to obsessive control. I also took this through Unblocked Money, where I needed to learn how to relinquish control and to surrender. And then to Unblocked Shadow, which allowed me to observe the layers of shame that I had placed over myself about my lack of self-worth with men and relationships. After these core four workshops, I focused a lot of time on Uplevel and Unblocked No in order to reinforce the sense of power, magnetism, and trust I needed when entering back into the dating world.
Now, I'm going back through Unblocked Inner Child and using the Daily Practice (specifically Grace & Confidence, Deservingness & Abundance, and Magnetic Self) to reinforce and continue unblocking.
What expanders did you find?: I have a lot of friends in my life that are in serious relationships, but they're all 10+ years older than me. I realized I have no expanders of the same age (mid-20s) that are in the kind of relationship I want, and if they are in a relationship, it is filled with turmoil and codependency. For a while, I thought that focusing my time with my older friends would be enough, but it wasn't until I went through Unblocked Love for the second time that I found out I was still "missing" something. I remember this DI showing me a group of friends I had from university, with two in particular - Chelsea and Nick. I reconnected with them, and after a few months, they announced they were engaged and were married six months later.
I saw Chelsea almost every week leading up to her wedding, and she became one of my manifestation/accountability partners. Their relationship showed me that it was possible for people in their early-mid 20s to be in a committed partnership/marriage and have also both given me practical advice about what it is like to be in this kind of relationship. For career, money, and my home, I began to call in women who just felt like they owned the room they were in. I manifested a side-job with a psychiatrist at my old work, who also gave me 12 pairs of designer shoes because she "thought I'd like them."
I manifested weekly dance classes with another doctor friend, a book club full of inspiring women in the field of health, wellness, and coaching, and finally, my current boss, who has created her business from scratch on her own.
What tests did you face? Which did you pass? Not pass?: Oh my. So many tests. It's interesting because the job and apartment I was calling in came immediately, literally, in the same week. Yet, I was wading through the muddy waters of dating tests and past partners coming through over and over again. It's clear that my self-worth was high when it comes to things like my home, material items, and my career, but it was at 0% in terms of love. The biggest test was a past partner that kept orbiting my life, only to reconnect with me when it served him (because my self-worth was so low, I always let this happen).
During this time, I also had about ten different men that I had 1 to 3 dates with, all getting closer and closer to my ideal partner. The last one I thought was it. He was EVERYTHING on my list, but he didn't want a committed relationship and wanted things to be left open. I had to say no. I also thought that this was the last test I had to face in order to get the relationship I wanted, but I still had a portal open to this previous "orbiting" partner. In late November, he just so happened to walk into the cafe downstairs from my work (he had no idea I worked in this building, nor does he live anywhere near my work). We had a coffee together and realized that we were both invited to the same party with some mutual friends that weekend.
After the party, I slept with him and knew throughout the entire thing that I should have said no, and remained in my worth, but obviously, I still had some learning to do. Like always, the moments of fiery passion we spent together ended with him dusting off his hands and walking away, leaving me feeling like I'm absolutely nothing. I knew, deep, deep, deep down, that this is to never happen again if I want to have the relationship I know I deserve.
So the next day, I decided to go with a friend to the florist and buy him a dozen roses for $20, and write a card basically saying I will never let him enter my life again. I walk out of the shop and find $20 on the pavement, deliver the flowers to his doorstep, and the very next day, I meet the man I am currently seeing - who is honestly everything on my list and more.
Did you experience a magic dark period? If so, tell us about it.: I felt as though I was in a rut since October 2019 in terms of my love life. I was constantly going on dates, but they either weren't the guy I was looking for at all, or they were only interested in something casual. It felt like it was just test after test. In August 2020, I then had a massive uplevel with my new job and new apartment coming through in the same week.
I stopped focusing on this dog-paddling in terms of love, and felt a huge sense of gratitude and worthiness about my life and everything that was in it, but because of this "I don't really care about men, I can do it all" attitude, I had, I then hit rock bottom in October 2020 when I experience two accounts of abuse after dates I had been on. I pulled myself out of this rock bottom with the help of TBM and really going deep into the work again every day. I went through Unblocked Love and Uplevel again and listened to Supported and Expanded Podcast every single day.
Then I felt my magic dark. I put the six week no sex rule in place and honestly didn't even going on any dates in October or November. It felt like a soft, silent wave just floating gently, allowing me to really sink back into my worth. I experienced the test of that ALMOST ideal partner, and I swiftly let him go when I knew it wasn't right. It felt as if my intuition was just guiding me, as a calm and accepting 'knowing'—a patience.
How did your manifestation come through?: In July 2020, I was in a rut with my job and my apartment. I was working 60 hours a week, keeping a psychology and medical clinic afloat, and yet I felt invisible and small. I was seriously undervalued in my job and knew I had more to give and more to be recognized for. Similarly, I was living in a beautiful area of Sydney by the water in an amazing apartment, but I had the worst neighbor who would yell and my sister and I (who I live with) every single morning. We both felt trapped there. On Monday night, after working 14 hours, I came home and sat in my lounge and just cried.
I felt exhausted. I opened up my laptop to watch something but instead felt drawn to open up Seek (a job advertising website) and scrolled straight down to the bottom. There, I found the ad for my current job: a practice manager role for a growing psychology clinic with a team of young women wanting to make a progressive difference in the world of psychology, counseling, and coaching (the career I am studying to go into). I sent over my CV that night without even writing a cover letter.
The next morning I was asked to come in for an interview, and I got the job straight away. In the interview, I even negotiated the exact hours and paid I wanted. When I came home from the interview, I saw an email from my real estate saying the landlord wants to sell the apartment and that we had to move. I again opened up realestate.com, scrolled to the bottom, and found the apartment I now have: open plan living, natural light, balcony, walk-in wardrobe, two bathrooms, bath, internal laundry, TWO POOLS, GYM, and 10 MINUTE WALK from my new job. My sister and I went to the viewing on Saturday, and were approved on Monday.
A few months ago, I had an interview with my current boss (the biggest expander I could ask for), who asked me if I wanted to be in charge of renovating a new clinic that we just bought. She gave me $4000 and the keys, and said: "make it exactly how you want it." I now have my ideal office too. As for love, I obviously had more work to do. Before the moment with the roses and the card to my ex "orbiter," I stayed at my friend's house for the weekend in the Blue Mountains (like Yosemite in Australia). We were lying in bed, taking each other through guided meditations and describing our ideal lives in the next ten years.
My friend and I hashed this image about me opening the door of my beach cottage in a long white dress and a huge smile on my face. I was having a dinner party and inviting all my friends through to the yard. We went on to describe my future husband in the kitchen cooking the food, with bare feet, long hair, and a beard—the kind of weathered Australian look, but with a softness to him. My friend and I said, "I see him as a furniture maker and someone that really knows how to cook... Maybe he plays guitar, but he isn't a musician; he's like a businessman with a country background and constantly bare feet." I jokingly asked my friend what they thought his name was, and they said, "I'm feeling Jack. He's got Jack energy."
A month later, after finally closing the portal on "orbit guy," I matched with a Jack on Hinge. He had a video date the next day for 3 hours and has basically spent every waking moment getting to know each other. He's a professional architect and a fine furniture maker, plays guitar, grew up in country Australia, has long hair that he ties back, and a beard. The day he picked me up for our first in-person date, he was barefoot. AND he wants commitment.
If you'd like, please include your IG handle:: @megan_buijs
What is your cultural upbringing and background?: I grew up in a rural town 2 hours outside of Sydney, Australia. My mum's side of the family can be traced back to early English convicts when Australia was first invaded. My dad's side of the family is Dutch, and my grandparents moved to Australia in the 60s at the age of 19 when my dad was a baby.
WORKSHOPS
Shadow / Inner Child / Love / How to Manifest / Uplevel / No
