Rediscovering My Abilities & A New Car
Name: Emily B
Are you currently a Pathway Member?: Yes
What was on your manifestation list?:
-TBM Scholarship
-More work I can do from home while I heal from Crohn's Disease
-More income
-Clarity on career
-Symbiotic relationship with body/gut/sexuality
-Reconnecting to clairvoyance and my ability to lucid dream after PTSD
-Confidence in my relationship
-Expanders for social media presence
-A good friend with a similar health story
-A guy friend who can help heal my relationship with men.
-New doctors who emphasized the importance of holistic health (I ended up with a new GI doctor who put me into a study where I get free unlimited nutrition and mindfulness coaching)
-Aritzia clothing
-2015 BMW X3
-Saddle brown leather
-XDrive
-80k miles or less
-Heated steering wheel (winter package)
-$20k (but felt willing to be flexible because I only felt comfortable spending 18k ... I'm a non-specific manifestor)
What workshops did you use and what blocks did you discover during the DIs & workshops?: I was diagnosed with PTSD in November 2019, so I was coming into this work (August 2020) with a LOOOT of blocks. I was not living life authentically AT ALL and was even diagnosed with severe Crohn's in March 2020 (a whole other manifestation story)! I felt extremely triggered daily while living at home with my parents after college, and my therapist suggested I do inner child work.
Right after this, I stumbled on the Expanded podcast and signed up for a scholarship with TBM. So thankful to say I manifested that too! After meditating and speaking with my inner child for the first time, I got the email that I got the scholarship. Right away, I started with How to Manifest, moved into Unblocked Inner Child, Unblocked Shadow, Unblocked Money, Boundaries, Unblocked Love, and have almost done them all and have now circled back to do the manifestation challenge. Some blocks that I've worked through include:
-That I am responsible for my money and that it's my fault if anything bad happens to it
-That I will be low income and live with my parents forever
- I will always be a jack of all trades and an expert at none
-That I don't have a purpose
-That I can't make good money at age 24 because I still can't decide what I want to do in life
-That my design work isn't good enough, so I should give people my time for free
-Not feeling empowered to manage my own business as a health coach and/or designer, and more.
What expanders did you find?: I found so many expanders on social media and was blessed with a lovely friend who is also an expander as a health coach. I was able to talk to a lot of strong women through TBM, and they were very generous with their time. Strong women entrepreneurs have always surrounded me, but none of them perfectly aligned because I never knew what I wanted to do in my career. Now that I have a much better idea, I am seeking out more expanders!
The most expansive person I've met is my therapist. She healed herself from a myriad of gut problems and health issues, raised two children, and has now moved to her second home in Ireland full time. And I would love to move to Scotland one day!
What tests did you face? Which did you pass? Not pass?: I still face a lot of tests surrounding family and boundaries because I still live at home. I like to see it as an opportunity to really work on things before I move out. There were several times I almost settled for the car, and the universe luckily took those away before I could really act on them. ;) I noticed a lot of tests came in the form of arguments with my boyfriend. Slowly I stopped spiraling and victimizing myself when we have disagreements. For income, I work a lot of different jobs at the moment to balance my physical limitations due to Crohn's.
I work outside doing physical labor at a barn 12 hours a week, and then do design work for 5 hours a week, work on my business the rest of the time, and spend maybe another 5 hours doing odd jobs I enjoy. I know that I will need to start dedicating time spent to my purpose (health coaching) soon if I want to show the universe that I'm clear on what I need to do to be authentic to myself. I decided that I needed to say no to any small jobs that were extra physical labor. This is hard because I don't make a lot of money, and if I want to move out in September, I need to save up for moving expenses and all the appliances and things I don't already own.
However, as I've said no to extra physical labor, I've gotten many more jobs I can do at home, got a raise, and got a random check for "back pay." None of them were particularly "grand," but it's 100% started building my trust muscle and gave me confidence and hope. My next goal is to set even more boundaries ;)
Did you experience a magic dark period? If so, tell us about it.: I started the work in August of 2020, and I'm shocked at how fast the car came in. My life has completely changed. I will say I think I'm in a magic dark for my career, but things are still in motion for that (I'm going to school at IIN now, so I don't know if it's really a magic dark as much as it is me being impatient ;). I went through a magic dark of maybe three months while waiting for the right car!
How did your manifestation come through?: The car was my biggest manifestation so far. I was looking for one about eight months ago. I started TBM 5 months ago, went through tests until maybe one month ago, then I randomly got a ping to recheck Edmunds, and there she was! The deal was UNREAL. I even had two lists because I didn't think I'd ever be able to afford a BMW x3 with brown saddle leather because it's considered a very high-end feature, and I already was asking for the winter premium package.
Well, I found a black BMW x3 with brown saddle leather, the premium and winter package, winter mats, 2015, Xdrive, 70k miles, for $18,922... $922 more than my dream amount for a standard BMW x3. I never imagined that I'd have my dream car before I turned 40, but I knew in my heart to just keep waiting! Follow that intuition! The rest of my manifestations have all flowed through just as smoothly, but I would have to write a book to describe them all! :)
If you'd like, please include your IG handle:: thelovelydigest
What is your cultural upbringing and background?: On my mother's side, my great grandmother was Shoshone Bannock, my grandmother grew up in SF, my grandfather in Indiana, my grandfather was in the Air Force, and my mother moved every two years until she was in her 20s. My dad's family immigrated from Germany before WWII. I am a Sagittarius and Generator in Human Design.
WORKSHOPS
Shadow / Inner Child / Money / Love
