A Challenging Rock Bottom & A Free Car
Name: Carolyn Markling
Are you currently a Pathway Member?: Yes
What was on your manifestation list?:
- New Car
- House
- Relationship
- Job
What workshops did you use and what blocks did you discover during the DIs & workshops?: I have been doing the work for a year and a half, but this past June, during quarantine, I really dived into the work. I started with Unblocked Inner Child, followed up by Unblocked Shadow, and finished them in mid-July. The blocks that came up during those workshops & DI's centered around my worthiness, stemming from my relationship with my father, who suffered from alcoholism and addiction when I was growing up, which led to me feeling rejected by him. That feeling of rejection had carried over into my self-worth and being codependent in the relationships in my life. I realized that I had sacrificed many of the things that I wanted in a relationship and career because I had the belief that having everything that I wanted wasn't possible/or a reality.
About two weeks after finishing the Unblocked Inner Child and Unblocked Shadow workshops, I hit the biggest rock bottom of my life when my boyfriend of 3 years ended the relationship out of what felt like nowhere. At the start of quarantine, I had been working as a contractor for a job that I hoped to be brought on full-time by the summer. Unfortunately, due to budget constraints, they had reduced my hours to part-time. My rock bottom pushed me into having to find a new place to live and a full-time job all at once while also going through a tough breakup. Everything felt like it was being taken away from me at the time, now looking back, I am thankful the universe was pushing me towards something better and thankful I had the tools I needed to work through the rock bottom I was going through.
What expanders did you find?:
- Lacy Phillips: her experience with her ex who didn't want children, and her mother, who also suffered from alcoholism
- my cousin: who was in a serious relationship that ended and she is now married to a wonderful partner and they have two children together
What tests did you face? Which did you pass? Not pass?: At the end of last year, I decided to put myself out there again in the dating world and joined a dating app. I really just wanted to get used to being seen, dating again, and ended up meeting a really nice guy who had many qualities on my list. We dated for a couple of months, but there were several red flags that I started to see. Communication was something big on my list for me, feeling comfortable to talk to my partner and vice versa, and I never felt like he opened up to me in that way. I realized that while he was a very nice guy and I enjoyed spending time with him, I deserve to have everything on my list and decided to end the relationship.
Did you experience a magic dark period? If so, tell us about it.: I experienced a magic dark because I hadn't had anything from my list come through yet. I had been doing the work regularly, so I knew I was in a magic dark and felt like I was getting closer once I ended things with the guy I saw that wasn't my full list.
How did your manifestation come through?: About a month after things ended, I was talking with my aunt, and she asked out of the blue if I wanted her car. She hadn't been driving it much, and she said she didn't really need two cars anymore. I had actually forgotten I had written this down on a previous list I put together when I started the work last summer. Her car is only two years old and has very low mileage on it, and she said she'd give it to me for whatever I can sell my car for.
If you'd like, please include your IG handle:: @carolynmarkling
What is your cultural upbringing and background?: Caucasian, raised by single mom in the Midwest
WORKSHOPS
Shadow / Inner Child / Uplevel
