Reinforcing Shadow Work So I Could Uplevel My Career
Name: Kelsey Brown
Are you currently a Pathway Member?: Yes
What was on your manifestation list?: A new Career with an excellent salary, better benefits, and a chance to move my professional goals to the next level!
What workshops did you use, and what blocks did you discover during the DIs & workshops?: Unblocked Shadow, The Daily Practice, and Coaching Sessions with Heather! On my journey, I discovered that I had been undermining my self-worth and selling myself short in my career for a long time as I was staying in my comfort zone and too afraid to break boundaries or hurt feelings to leave. Underneath it all, I recognized the shadow of imposter syndrome and not feeling like I was talented, experienced enough, or creative enough for any other company to want me to work with them. Through my work with Heather, I realized I had correlated my current and past job situations with a pattern of staying small in order to not be discarded or abandoned, which stemmed from my childhood experiences of feeling left behind and neglected.
My pattern of not dealing with this block had led me down a road where I kept recreating situations where I needed to be needed to feel safe. Therefore I stayed with small companies and was afraid to 'abandon' them myself. I had never even thought to correlate my career decisions to my childhood and unrealized self-worth, but there it was! I also realized that the job I had was really a bridge job that I had stayed in way too long, and it was time to move on.
What expanders did you find?: Just working with Heather offered tons of expansion for me! I also connected with some friends and family members who had recently made career moves. I noticed that they were completely confident and in their worth about making those decisions for their own well-being rather than worrying about the consequences for someone else. They were great at staying in THEIR own business about their career choices, while I was still tallying mine based on how my decisions would make others feel. I realized through witnessing those experiences that I was attached to my outcome because of my childhood blocks and kept working on them.
What tests did you face? Which did you pass? Not pass?: Many of my tests came in the form of emotional or situational triggers. I worked in the event/live music industry, and when the pandemic hit, my business and the money I made took a nosedive, although I was still able to remain employed. My employer offered me a 'life-line' through our company being acquired whereby I got to remain employed. This seemed great at first, but the more we got into the details, the more I realized that my needs were not being met, and there wasn't a way for me to stay in my worth literally and figuratively in this situation. It was sort of a dangling carrot.
I passed the test by acknowledging to myself that I didn't need to stand by with no control over my next move and had to step it up and start looking for alternatives for myself. As I was interviewing for the job that I got, I had many emotional hairpin turns, and I had to learn to stay in the trust and remind myself that I really felt like the stars were aligning, and I was being guided to much higher self-worth decisions. I had to negate only looking out for others and stand up for myself.
Did you experience a magic dark period? If so, tell us about it.: Yes. After I started applying for jobs, it was crickets everywhere. But I kept focusing on myself and this work and raising my vibe to meet the goals I was creating for myself. I kept my worth up by doing a ton of Unblocked Shadow, reinforcing and using the daily practice and journaling.
How did your manifestation come through?: I was contacted by a great company for a role I had forgotten I'd even applied to. Around Christmas time, they contacted me for an interview, then another, then another, and another! It was a rigorous interview process, but the entire time I could feel like this was where I was being guided and that I had a lot I could contribute to the role. The role was brand new and matched my past experience in crazy ways.
I had wanted a much higher salary, better benefits and Flex Time Off, great expander co-workers and mentorship, and the opportunity to have freedom and authenticity in my role. I worked really hard on the interview project I was given and lived and breathed it for days and felt like I was doing my absolute best and was SO proud of my work that I didn't care what they thought! I surrendered to the process, showed up authentically, and knew I was putting my best foot forward every step of the way. When I got the job offer, It was lower than where I wanted to be. I counter-offered, thinking they would negotiate further, but I knew I needed more, and my work and path called for more to be asked for. They gave me exactly what I asked for, and I accepted the job!
If you'd like, please include your IG handle:: brownchickabrowncow
What is your cultural upbringing and background?: I am a white American woman that was raised in Texas and moved to the Mountains of Colorado when I was a teen. I had a very 'standard' upbringing - working Father, mostly Stay at Home Mother. I was taught to be hardworking and loved, and the balance of a 'responsible' Father and a very spiritual and 'Out There' Mother has me rooted in a lot of responsibility and integrity while also considering myself a huge dreamer and manifestor!
