Necessary Healing & Small Reminders To Keep Manifesting
Name: Lisa Spencer
Where do you reside?: Melbourne - Australia
What is your cultural upbringing and background?: my parents were born in Australia. I was raised in a pretty wealthy suburban area of Melbourne. I grew up with my mum, Dad, and older brother. My parent's relationship was horribly abusive. My mum is an alcoholic, and my Dad is an intense hoarder.
Are you currently a Pathway Member?: Yes
What was on your manifestation list?: I'm a non-specific manifester.
- a manager (for my music)
- a label, or some sort of financial investment to help with my music
- to support on a tour of an artist I really admire (an expander)
- a part-time bridge job - as I'm running out of my savings
- more clients through my music coaching business
I also recently added some 'mini' ones:
- a type of healer that's going to help me with healing trauma from childhood
- a free or discounted healing session (reiki, energy healing, naturopath etc.)
- free or discounted clothing that I LOVE - I want to explore different styles
- more magic <3
What workshops did you use and what blocks did you discover during the DIs & workshops?: Pretty much all the workshops except for Unblocked Love.
I've found the Unblocked Inner Child workshop to be huge in discovering my blocks. I found a big one early on when I asked my mum how her pregnancy was with me, and she told me she had a pretty big trauma occur during it. When she told my Dad that they were having a girl, he punched her in the stomach. I cried a lot, knowing I felt this carry through to me so much, without knowing it ever existed. My Dad was incredibly sexist towards me my whole life. I did a LOT of inner child healing through this, felt a lot, and also forgave a lot too. I felt 'not enough' 'not welcome,' I found a huge block with trusting, and the list goes on.
I've also discovered a lot to do with Money. I had a huge belief of Money = love, which impacted me a lot as I'm in a very loving relationship right now, and I have the lowest amount of Money I've ever had. I realized I 'chose' love over Money (believing it was one or the other). Also, blocks around making a career and Money as a creative. I was told from a young age that my singing and writing were just hobbies, and I should pursue a 'real job.' The schools I went to were very focused on academics too.
What expanders did you find?:
-Lacy has been a big one
-Amy Shark - an Aussie artist, I loved her non-traditional pop start story of 'making it' eventually after ~ ten years of hardly any 'success.'
-Miley Cyrus - I love her authenticity and how she is real about being a pop star - the struggles it has and how healthy and strong she has to be for it
-Demi Lovato - I love her realness, too, with the struggles of trauma and being in the public eye
-Tash Sultana - another Aussie artist - Sings, writes & produces like me, and I loved that she was successful without 'needing' other producers or writers to help her (this seemed to be a block for me)
-Danielle Bernstein - her book 'The Universe Has Your Back' really helped me surrender, trust and ask for the Universe's help
-Oprah - duh!
What tests did you face? Which did you pass? Not pass?:
1) About four companies/people emailed me offering to work for me for my music - PR companies, management, etc. I said no, as they were not what I was asking for. Although I did say yes to 1 - they were a social media management company. It wasn't what I was asking for, but it taught me a few things about social media and got me out of the beef I had with social media too. I only worked with them for a month and then stopped. They came back again and asked if I wanted to work with them again, and I said no - as I knew they weren't aligned with what I was asking for.
2) I was also tested with the pricing of my music coaching sessions. When I increased a little bit, my first ever client responded that she just lost her job and she'd have to reconsider booking in bulk sessions. I don't know if I failed - but I actually offered to stick to the original price for this time as I'm quite empathetic and could feel it was a tough time for her. But she actually responded, saying, 'no, it's fine, we'll do the increased price.'
Did you experience a magic dark period? If so, tell us about it.: I believe I'm still in one for the big manifestations I've been trying to call in. It's been ~2 months since the last opportunity came through. All my clients through the music coaching have stopped. My latest music release (an EP) has received very little publicity/support compared to any of my other releases. I'm nearly at the end of my savings, and I've also been going crazy, haha. It's been incredibly triggering for me and has played with my biggest wounds. The magic dark really has been the biggest test of them all for me!
How did your manifestation come through?: My big manifestations haven't come through yet - but my mini ones have :)
I decided enough was enough, and it was time to get more into healing, as it was clear to me I was getting hugely triggered, and so there was more work to do. I was also getting the message through my readings and meditation that I needed to surrender and trust. I was seeing angel numbers everywhere also, and my dreams have been wild too, haha - I knew there was something going on. I found some videos on Gaia on healing trauma, including a little one with Gabrielle Bernstein talking about asking for help from the Universe. I started listening to her book on audible 'The Universe Has Your Back' and something clicked - I realised it was all about surrendering right now and asking God/The Universe/my Angels for help - I was trying to control everything. I started praying using her prompts in the book and asking for help.
I got the idea to do EMDR also. I tried to book an appointment with my old psychologist, but she said the next available appointment was six months from now. With a bit of looking, I found another one. We were organizing times via email, but no joke - 3 times, I kept getting an email back saying "so sorry, in the time we said this time, someone else booked in, we can do this __time instead." I then decided to do the Rut workshop as I was feeling real 'rut-like'. It helped me realize that right now, I've got this HUGE opportunity to heal from my childhood trauma, which potentially might be a part of my gift.
A triggering phone call with a friend also brought up the point that I was feeling a lot of shame around things I wasn't doing.. like not performing live - and using lockdowns as an excuse, but not even practicing! I decided to start practicing my live set so I can be ready for a show. I realized I was avoiding that completely. I've also started doing Kundalini yoga/meditation every day, on top of a DI once a day too.
I also got the idea to write some mini-manifestations in my list, as I forgot it could help with building trust - I didn't have ANY mini-ones written down originally! I prayed to the Universe for the healings/healers, as this felt like a true need right now (I was suffering, especially since another lockdown was announced here in Melbourne, and now we couldn't go on the holiday we had booked that we've been waiting for since last year...) Well !!! Within two days, I got all of these manifestations I had just written down. I saw three rainbows !!! (that's magic to me), my original psychologist emailed me yesterday saying she had a client drop their appointments, and there was an availability next week!!! AND THEN, my partner who does tarot/readings had a client who is a reiki practitioner.
She offered us both free reiki sessions right then and thereafter her reading! I'm doing it next week. She also mentioned cleaning out a house for her friend who had to fly back to Ireland ASAP and won't be able to get back into Aus after, so she has to sell or give away all her stuff, including clothes. She offered if I wanted anything, I could come to get some things when I go for the reiki session. She said she is about my size and has a lot of cool clothing. Lol - what a funny thing.
Anyway, I'm yet to get my big manifestations, but do you know what? I'm not even fussed right now. The mini-manifestations coming through so quickly helped me trust this process incredibly and gave me that extra encouragement I needed during this time. I have surrendered SO much, and I now know the lesson for me right now is that I need to focus my attention inside - not outside - as I was getting totally fixated on the outside stuff and getting bummed I wasn't getting what I wanted externally. It was triggering all my wounds. I'm thankful for the experience, though, as it has forced me to really look at these wounds and find more healing. If I'm going to be able to handle the music career I truly desire, I'm going to need to heal first <3
How long did it take for your manifestation to come through after crafting your initial list?: The mini manifestations - 2 days
How frequently were you using the workshops and DI's when you noticed the biggest shift surrounding your manifestation?: Every day. Unblocked Inner Child + Unblocked Shadow have been super helpful, and the Rut workshop really helped glue some things together during this time. I realized my pain wasn't for nothing - I've found there's been a few gifts and lessons in there <3
How do you incorporate this work into your life on a daily basis? Any tips, tricks or recommendations for getting the most out of it, or personalizing it?: I do a DI straight when I wake up as I find it sets the tone right, and before going to sleep sometimes. I don't have heaps of tricks with it - I just have to be careful as I fall asleep easily, so I've learned I have to make sure I move my fingers/toes sometimes to keep me awake. I've noticed the most powerful ones when I've got something really present at the moment to take through the DI - like some trigger, or some sort of behavior, or something I remembered from my parents - anything like that.
If you'd like, please include your IG handle:: @aeoramusic
