Discovering How Fear Controlled My Decisions
Name: Erin Cadwallader
Where do you reside?: Walnut Creek, CA
What is your cultural upbringing and background?: I lived in suburbia. Dad worked while mom stayed home with the kids. We did our various sports and social circles, but I always felt like the odd man, especially being the middle child.
Are you currently a Pathway Member?: Yes
What was on your manifestation list?:
- New apartment/home
- Extra cash for a bachelorette party in September
What workshops did you use and what blocks did you discover during the DIs & workshops?:
- Unblocked Shadow
- Answers & Clarity
- Emotional Clearing DI
- Shadow Reinforcing DI
- Subconscious Integration DI
- Unblocked Money
- Prosperity Di
What expanders did you find?:
Charlize Theron & Coco Chanel (single, successful women)
Ariel Rose (Pathway Member)
FRIENDS Cast (living in an apartment or with roommates into their 30s)
What tests did you face? Which did you pass? Not pass?: While my roommate and I were talking about our moving out timeline, she had said she felt it would be a while before her boyfriend bought a home as the market is insane right now. I was feeling really low and had a rug swept out from under me recently. The NEXT DAY, her boyfriend closed on a house. I just laughed. I said, ok, universe, I see what you did there. I just had to lean in. I had no other choice. This was happening, and I had to just go with it.
How did your manifestation come through?: I had posted in the Pathway various times about not finding an apartment, what am I doing wrong, why am I not seeing this come through, and absolutely convinced it was because of the city and area I live in. I was playing the victim card pretty hard. After my friend got a house, I posted my frustration again, and someone ever so kindly wrote back asking me WHY I wanted/felt the need to live alone. I took all of this into the work, discovering I'm not proud of myself because I feel like an imposter. I DESERVED to be alone because I live differently from those I have shared space with in the past. Most importantly, I have been hiding from everyone, disguised as this confident woman who loves traveling alone or being ok with doing things alone because she has no other choice.
But I do all this alone because I am afraid of what others will think. After becoming totally clear on why and what I want, I felt comfortable changing my mind-- I realize what I don't want nor deserve to be alone. It was an AH-HA moment I wasn't expecting. So now, I am moving in with my two guy friends, into the master bedroom with tons of light and space, my own bathroom, in a safe neighborhood 10 minutes driving to work and close to friends, a house dog (yay!), and all for my exact budget including utilities. Everything is on my list, with an added bonus of two really cool people. What came after was also just an awesome mini manifestation! I had asked for some extra cash to be able to help pay for a Bachelorette party in September. I knew I'd be spending more than usual in August moving and paying a little extra to cover utilities that were previously shared between three girls, now shared by two.
With a higher rent payment, I already knew I had to get smart about my budget and how I look at my money. I'm still in Unblocked Money, probably for the fourth time. I made a spreadsheet of all my expenses, cut down what I absolutely didn't need, and got serious about shaving off where I could. I went to the bank this week and refinanced my car, and yesterday my Insurance company called me to let me know they could lower my policy payment. Both of those are going to save me about $180 a month! The best part of the story, the new loan on my truck won't start taking payment until October, which means I can take the money that would have been used for my September car payment can now go to paying for the Bachelorette party!!
How long did it take for your manifestation to come through after crafting your initial list?: Honestly, about two years. Since I started the Pathway, I guess I had a pretty stubborn subconscious.
How frequently were you using the workshops and DI's when you noticed the biggest shift surrounding your manifestation?: I used to just do the workshops to get through them, thinking it would lead me to an end goal. I'd say February 2021. I doubled down, used Unblocked Flower Remedy, and took a hard look at myself. I did the DIs 3-4 times a week, making it as important as my morning coffee. In April, I started seeing real and big manifestations come through.
How do you incorporate this work into your life on a daily basis? Any tips, tricks or recommendations for getting the most out of it, or personalizing it?: It's like my morning coffee. If I don't get some sort of daily work in, then I don't feel as great during the day. I make sure to listen to the podcast each week when a new one comes out, I interact with the Instagram and community group, and my local Meetup Chat group is FULL of expanders and helpful people. I also talk about it with my friends who don't really understand it. It helps me feel confident in myself and what I enjoy!
If you'd like, please include your IG handle:: @magneticvino
