Passing Tests While Progressing My Music Career
Name: Erinn Selkis
Where do you reside?: Pacific Palisades, CA
Are you currently a Pathway Member?: Yes
What was on your manifestation list?: Major Manifestations:
-New full-time career as a musician working for myself, making at least $55K (and now my next level is to get to $80,000+)
-Having a song make it to a Spotify playlist, so it gets 20,000+ listens
-Incredible press and recognition for my EP
-Having a song licensed for film/TV and making $3000+ (still manifesting this one)
-New car (also still manifesting)
-Deeper self-love and worth, as measured by my ability to honestly express my feelings and feeling worthy of doing so
Mini manifestations:
- comfy HIGH-quality boots for less than $50 (found 3 pairs!)
- Brown specific genuine leather jacket for less than $60
-Being accepted into all the MFT programs I applied for
-pay off all my CC
-Brown real leather jacket for less than
What workshops did you use and what blocks did you discover during the DIs & workshops?: I'm going to focus on the music career manifestation, as that is by far the biggest for me! It was manifested fully by June 2021 and would have happened much sooner if not for Covid. It's a business, so it's an ongoing manifestation. I'm still working on other parts of it, but I wanted to book 12+ gigs per month at wineries, restaurants, etc., charging $100+ an hour. I had previously been working as a server in a restaurant and doing gigs here and there.
I've done pretty much all the workshops by now, and I know my patterns well enough to do the daily DI depending on what's "up" for me that day. I do a DI almost daily and have been since I joined in April 2020. In the beginning, my focus was on fully getting into my worth. I have been a singer and performer since I was little, professionally for years, but my upbringing, where I was criticized often when anything wasn't "perfect," really stood in my way of following my dream of creating this. Also, my guitar skills weren't as good as I wanted, and in my mind, that made me self-conscious and doubted if I could create this. I did a TON of reprogramming the specific incidents in my childhood where I felt ashamed for not being as good as others or not being as good as my mom wanted me to be.
Inner child- where I created such accepting, loving, supportive parents who wanted me to be ME and loved how I showed up. I reprogrammed specific incidents in my previous musical theater career where I was shamed for not being skinny enough or not feeling as good as others. There was a lot of learning that I deserved to have a career that also lit me up and used my gifts in service to others. Inner child work (through TBM and in therapy or with myself) continues to be the base of all my healing.
I hired a publicist for the release of my EP, and she got me some amazing press for the release. I technically paid for it (though I wasn't guaranteed people would actually like my music) I had the money to do so, and getting publicity for an unknown singer/songwriter is almost unheard of without assistance. I'm so glad I did.
What expanders did you find?: There was a girl who was singing and playing guitar at some of the places I wanted to play at, and I knew if she could do it, I absolutely could! This was particularly helpful with the guitar piece because she wasn't any better than me on guitar! So that helped me to see that the limitation I was creating in my head around that was not real. I actually don't know of anyone who's doing what I'm doing at the level I am bc I'm willing to drive all over to play the gigs that pay well, so now I'm my own expander! But I also was expanded greatly by the TBM community and business owners in general, setting their rates high and sticking to them.
What tests did you face? Which did you pass? Not pass?: The tests I've faced and continue to face was gigs being canceled bc of Covid just as I was getting going in 2020, places saying they couldn't match my rate and offering less, and emotional tests bc a few of the Winter months were slower than I wanted them to be. I " passed'' some of these tests I "passed," and some I "failed!" One winery paid half my rate, but I agreed to play there because it was a cool spot, and I could maybe make up for it in tips.... but I played 3x and just couldn't do it anymore because it didn't feel good. I even got a flat tire on the way home from the last time I played there (the Universe was really testing me). I politely turned down the offer to keep playing there after that. So, I didn't pass, and then I did :) I remember a very high-paying gig coming in right after I said no thank you. And there are still many places that pay less than my rate, and I turn them down. Inevitably, something better comes through.
Emotionally, I was also tested. I was getting stressed and in lack of dog-paddling this past January and February because the new Covid strain hit, and also, it was Winter and not the season for live music, so I had less gigs than I wanted. I certainly didn't "pass" as I felt the dog paddling, lack, and incessant emailing of any place I could think of that wanted music. Eventually, I just had to sit with my fear, allow it all to come up, know I was safe and taken care of, and trust the Universe. Things started to shift, and gigs came in right after.
Did you experience a magic dark period? If so, tell us about it.: No. But I hope I'm in one with getting my music licensed :) That's another aspect of the career I've been working on, and it's been crickets for a bit. I have noticed that for me, detachment and letting go are the key to my manifestations. I truly am not attached to this piece anymore, and it's ok if it doesn't come in. I'll let you know if it does eventually ;)
How did your manifestation come through?: As soon as I had booked 12+ gigs in June 2020, I knew it was possible! So I just continued to keep doing the internal and external work to keep that going.
How long did it take for your manifestation to come through after crafting your initial list?: 1 year, though maybe it would have been a lot sooner if not for Covid.
How frequently were you using the workshops and DI's when you noticed the biggest shift surrounding your manifestation?: Every day. I still do.
How do you incorporate this work into your life on a daily basis? Any tips, tricks or recommendations for getting the most out of it, or personalizing it?: I listen to the DI's when I'm driving to and from my gigs! I'm in the car a lot, and I'm already in a meditative state, so I make use of this. I do them at home on the other days, but something about being in the car and allowing my subconscious to take over works very well for me.
If you'd like, please include your IG handle:: Selki36
Want to remain anonymous?: No
: If you are a member of the 40 years old+ community and feel comfortable sharing, please check this box as we are working to create a section of The Motivation devoted to highlighting Expanders in this community. Please note, this is completely optional.
