Creating A New Position, A New Truck, & Authentic Relationships
What is your cultural upbringing and background?: I am from Germany, lived there for 17 years, did my undergrad degree in Austria, and moved to the U.S. in 2019 (I lived in New Orleans before that in 2017-2018).
Are you currently a Pathway Member?: Yes
What was on your manifestation list?:
- Permanency
- Working my dream job remotely and living in South Carolina
- My cat
- Affordable furniture
- Reconnecting with someone I met in my past
- Having a more authentic relationship with my family
- More work-life balance and pursuing my hobbies
- a truck
- opportunities to volunteer/ help others
- an apartment
What workshops did you use and what blocks did you discover during the D.I.s & workshops?: The Unblocking Challenge and I discovered strong blocks around boundaries
I did all the workshops in the Pathway, except for the moon workshop and the new daily practices
If you did work with a coach or a few, who did you work with, in what capacity (Q/A service or Session(s)) and how did that contribute to your manifestation process?: I did submit questions to the Q&A, and Salwa was incredibly helpful! She was able to put into words things I was feeling but could not express, and every time I listened to her answers, I felt the fog in my brain disappear and the refreshing clarity replacing it. The biggest reveal came when I submitted a question about seeing another person do the prompts in the DI rather than actually experiencing myself, and I realized that I didn't feel safe to experience and rather detached myself, hiding so much and judging my true self to an extent where even I didn't know it. Since the Q/A, I have been surprised by how spontaneously authentic I could be where before, I would have overthought every detail of a situation or conversation.
What expanders did you find?: One of my friends has an expander he will put me in contact with soon. I don't have a list of expanders. It's more an in-the-moment experience for me where I see something that I admire and think, cool. I could do that too! :)
What tests did you face? Which did you pass? Not pass?: Wow! I mean, since the Unblocking challenge, it's just been one test after another. I manifested exactly what I thought I wanted, reconnecting with a guy I met last summer and even moving in with him. I thought he was "the one." However, living with him was simultaneously all I wanted and, at the same time, the exact opposite. Things were just really different than I thought they would be, and after three months, I moved out and found my own place. This was such a big step for me because, in the past, I would have questioned and judged myself, felt that I should have kept trying longer, and made excuses for behaviors that hurt me. I was surprised by how much clarity I had about my own feelings and how I was able to validate them and set boundaries.
I was tested over and over again by him saying that things would change, but never anything changed, and I passed the tests by moving out and ending a relationship that was not aligned with me. The hardest part was accepting that what I wanted and dreamed of was not what I made it out to be. I am also currently facing a lot of tests around money. I have never been really careful with it, but I realized that it was time not to overspend anymore if I wanted to have a comfortable future. Since I started budgeting and taking ownership and control, I have been facing almost $1000 in unexpected bills for my truck, and the motor warning sign reappeared even after it got fixed. I am also tested by not feeling a spark with the guys I had dates with. Telling guys I'm not interested in has always been difficult for me, because I was taught to prioritize other people's feelings over my own. There was one person I really wasn't interested in, and I found the guts to tell him. The next day, someone I was interested in asked me out on a date.
Did you experience a magic dark period? If so, tell us about it.: I experienced a magic dark period at the beginning of the year, from February until April approximately. I was about to graduate (in May), didn't have a job lined up (which would have meant that I had to go back to Germany), and knew where I wanted to go, but with no opportunities to do so.
How did your manifestation come through?: But then, the manifestations started to come through. My manager at the company I did my internship at had a few meetings with me to check-in. I loved my job (I worked with them for a year) but knew the department didn't have any entry-level positions. However, in May, my manager told me that a position that was created for me got approved AND that I was allowed to telework! I couldn't believe it. It was so perfect. I have been teleworking with them ever since and moved to where I really wanted to live- Greenville, SC. Additionally, my start date aligned perfectly with the visit of my father from Germany, and it gave us 2.5 weeks time to travel. He had never visited me before, and in the time he was here, we really bonded. This meant so much to me.
Additionally, the apartment I originally was supposed to move in fell through, and it led me to move in with the guy I wanted to reconnect with and was in love with. Also, something that seemed impossible before. When things turned out to be not as I imagined they would be, a lifelong dream of mine (That I never thought would become true) became a reality, and now I live in my own apartment and even have a patio! Also, everything turns out just as planned, and I will be able to bring my cat down here to live with me. Another manifestation that came through was my truck. Right, when I looked for trucks, the price of the car I owned then rose and I sold it with profit. That way, I got my 2013 Ford F150 for just $6000!
A lot of smaller manifestations came through as well, like a full set of living room furniture for under $100. Additionally, right when I started having anxiety about my future and was scared to lose everything I had worked for in the past years, a friend of mine offered to put me in touch with immigration lawyers, and I also unexpectedly got an amazing test score in my French proficiency test (TEF) while barely studying. The past months were a whirlwind, and I feel like I'm living a dream. Especially during the summer, things have been accelerating, and I am up-leveling so fast that I can barely keep up. So many changes have happened, and I didn't even realize how much I had to process until I finally had a quiet weekend and slept for almost 12 hours!
It's also not only these material changes. I've always seemed very unapproachable and was never the girl guys talked to at bars. Ever since TBM, everywhere I go, people have started talking to me. I met friends at bars, during volleyball, and even at the grocery store. People recognized me from somewhere and offered their help! It's incredible. I've also manifested a good friend here who also does TBM. She's wonderful! I also got a high-level opportunity to volunteer for a cause that's really close to my heart and found places to practice and improve all of my hobbies.
How long did it take for your manifestation to come through after crafting your initial list?: Between a few days and five months
How frequently were you using the workshops and DI's when you noticed the biggest shift surrounding your manifestation?: Daily to weekly, sometimes I needed to sit with the shifts that had happened
How do you incorporate this work into your life on a daily basis? Any tips, tricks or recommendations for getting the most out of it, or personalizing it?: Absolutely! One tip is to listen to the TBM podcast on long car rides. I also think it's really important to listen to your intuition. Mostly you already intuitively know what you need, and most of the time, it's the thing you least want to do - because you know it's work. Earlier this year, I knew I needed to redo Unblocked Inner Child, and I really, really didn't feel like it. I worked through it anyway and, in the process, realized how good it was for me.
It led to my dad and me having a much more honest relationship with each other when he visited. I always had the feeling that I had to prove something to him, show him how great I turned out to be and how much I could offer him (trips to NYC, DC, etc.) But after Unblocked Inner Child, I focussed much more on our quality time and really getting to know each other. We even talked about my mum (who passed away at my birth), which was always a taboo topic. It was the first time my dad pointed out a similarity she and I have, and that was only possible because I allowed myself to be authentic and my true self around him instead of being focussed on appearing super strong. I also didn't feel like doing the boundary workshop again, but as soon as I did it, my apartment came through.
So the tip I have is that doing what we least want to do, is oftentimes what we need most. Another trick is doing the work right after waking up. I am able to focus most on it then. And I also think it's important not to overthink it and see it as another item on your to-do list/ homework or an assignment that has to be done perfectly. I struggled with feeling bad because I thought I didn't do the work perfectly in order, I fell asleep during the D.I.s sometimes, etc. But then I realized the resources are there first and foremost to serve me, and nothing is wrong with me using them in a way that feels good. So yes, I follow the prompts, but I also don't feel bad for using some of the D.I.s to fall asleep sometimes.
Is there anything else you think we should know? If you made this process your own in any way, this is the perfect spot to share that.: I think I've shared everything worth mentioning above. But I just want to emphasize that the unblocking challenge truly has revealed blocks for me that I didn't even realize I had, and since then, I feel like life has embraced me more, and I feel much more involved. I used to feel lonely when alone, but that's not even the case anymore. My old problems feel like a distant memory, and I can't relate to them anymore. I feel literally like I'm on a different level, where things I used to worry about seem so detached from me that I don't even understand anymore how I could worry about them in the first place.
I used to be so scared of being seen, but after TBM, I got some opportunities to model and hold speeches in front of hundreds of people. I took them and absolutely loved them! I always dreamt about being close to myself and happy with who I am. It's crazy, but I feel like I'm finally there, and I am a whole different person than I used to be, more myself and in the best way possible. TBM is truly transformative and they key to what I needed. I always longed for a healing resource like this one and finally had the capacity to embrace it. I'd also add that it shouldn't be an expectation that this will be easy and smooth sailing all the way.
Part of it is so helpful is that this is true, deep work, and that means als having days where you feel very activated, scared, and not yourself, and that's okay too. I still have some work to do around being envious of people who are truly compassionate to themselves, even if they don't perform as they would expect themselves to, even if they are not productive or make mistakes. I still measure myself on my own high expectations and am very critical of myself. I envy people who are truly confident, don't try to be perfect, and don't judge their own thoughts or feelings or restrict/ censor themselves.
