Following My Passions, Moving Into A Beach house, & 64k in Scholarships
Where do you reside?: Brooklyn, NY
What is your cultural upbringing and background?: Mom was German, Welsh, and Italian. Dad was fully Italian. I wasn't raised with any strong ethnic identity. I consider poverty to be the biggest contributor to my cultural upbringing, unfortunately.
Are you currently a Pathway Member?: Yes
What was on your manifestation list?: Living by the ocean in an updated home, working a shorter work week, life coaching practice, Buddha statue for the altar, finding a way to pay for triplets' college without taking out massive loans. More women in my life are aligned with my values and authentic code.
What workshops did you use and what blocks did you discover during the DIs & workshops?: I've done Unblocked Inner Child, Unblocked Shadow, Unblocked Money, and parts of Unblocked Boundaries and Unblocked Love. Most recently I've done Uplevel Next Level. Feeling comfortable doing Uplevel was a big step for me. I would look at that workshop and never feel that I was ready. That I hadn't come far enough in my self-growth and manifestation to be at the Next Level. But about a month ago, it just felt right. I was scrolling through the workshops, and I got a ping to do Next Level, and I'm so glad I did. I believe this is what has helped me to call in the bridge beach home we're moving into!
As I've been working in my Life Coaching Practice, I've had fears occasionally about what will happen if my day job doesn't support or allow (there are policies on how many hours can be worked in outside employment) for me to continue with it. This summer, during one of the times that the fear popped up, I had the quiet yet powerful thought, then I'll leave my day job. It all became crystal clear in a very peaceful way. I credit this to the work I've done in the Uplevel workshop.
Unblocked Child and Unblocked Shadow are the DIs I revisit the most--and sometimes just stopping in the middle of the day and holding myself (being my magnetic parent), like I needed my mom to do. Or taking myself to the basement of a horrible old building so I can let myself let go of the shadow. That visual from the Shadow DI was very powerful for me.
This summer Unblocked Boundaries helped a lot as I was navigating how I wanted work to look for me and with caring for my friend as she recovered from surgery. It was difficult to work helping her and caring for her as deeply as I do and still maintain my emotional and mental health. So this workshop was crazy helpful.
Since my journey with TBM began about 18 months ago, I've done a lot of the Daily Practice DIs as well--Trigger, Prosperity, Magnetic Self, Authentic Self... the names have changed with the revamping and addition of the amazing DIs (love Safe and Fear) from the Unblocked Challenge, but I find solace, wisdom, and the ability to forgive myself so much in these DIs.
If you did work with a coach or a few, who did you work with, in what capacity (Q/A service or Session(s)) and how did that contribute to your manifestation process?: I worked with Atarah back in December just for one session. I don't know if/how it directly contributed to my manifestation process. It was informative, and all steps on the journey contribute to the process, but I'm not sure about any direct contributions. My apologies. Nothing is standing out at the moment.
What expanders did you find?: While doing the Expanding during the Daily Practice, I was often frustrated because my "stumps" often felt empty. I wasn't sure who to put in them. But through doing the DI and staying open, I've had Fernanda Santos, who is a well-known writer, and an old friend of my husband's, come into my life as an expander and friend. My husband and Fernanda worked together about 23 years ago. My husband and I double-dated once with her and her husband Mike once back then. It was pleasant, but I viewed it as a work dinner and was not comfortable in my worth enough to really enjoy it. At that time, Fernanda was a writer at a small Massachusetts newspaper where my husband was a photographer.
Over the years, I've followed Fernanda on Facebook. I've been in awe of how she's become a writer for the NY Times, how she's been able to make a more prominent place for herself in social media, how she's handled her husband's death to cancer in his early 40s become a single parent, and still gone on to write a book, have a play performed on Broadway, and more. Over the past few months, I realized that she was an Expander, and I began thinking of her in that way and knowing that she'd be. Good friend to put on one of my stumps around the fire.
I signed up for Fernanda's newsletter a couple of months ago--along with many others, I'm sure. I sent her an email re-introducing myself since it had been so many years since we'd spoken. She immediately wrote back, telling me, "You don't need an introduction...." She remembered me fondly. Then out of the blue (of course, it wasn't. I was co-creating with the Universe!) Fernanda sent me a fb message asking to get together. She and her daughter had relocated to NYC, and she wanted to get together for coffee! Since then, we've had a wonderful friendship. We were supposed to get together a couple of weeks ago, but she canceled because her daughter was away at camp, so she decided to spend the week writing and not do any social events. At first, I was disappointed, but then I realized she was continuing to expand me with her actions. I, too, needed to focus more on my life coaching practice, and so rather than take this as a disappointment, I took it for the expansive lesson it was.
Another Expander that has come into my life is Linda Noble. Linda and I were peripheral friends years ago when our friends met on the playground. We got along but were acquaintances over the years, and then fell out of touch as our kids hit high school. About a year ago, I began giving more attention to meditation in my life and mindfulness in my role as an educator. I remembered that Linda, who was an educator like me, had written some research essays and traveled the country teaching mindfulness. I sent her a text saying that I was doing more mindfulness work and that if she ever wanted to connect, to let me know. She didn't text back. She called me immediately! She asked to take a walk around the famous Brooklyn Prospect Park, and we immediately reconnected. She has shared how she's since won awards for her work in mindfulness and continues to study and write in the area. She has expanded me by making me aware of different mindfulness retreats, sharing her writing, inviting me to attend zooms with other mindfulness educators, and more.
Coaching
I had one session with Atarah back in December. I wouldn't call that recent. It was useful, as everything in this journey is, but I can't articulate the exact way that I found it helpful. I know it has informed my coaching, as far as helping me narrow down the type of coach I do and do not want to be.
What tests did you face? Which did you pass? Not pass?: One of my manifestations has been living in a beach house. This is going to sound crazy, but my husband and I own a beach house in Queens, NY, about 40 minutes from where we live in Brooklyn. I have imagined the beach house. I want to have a lot more open space than our house has. While talking to my husband about how we're going to finance our triplets' college educations (another manifestation I've been calling in), I mentioned my calling in a beach house. He said, "You mean like the one we have?" Since the house isn't exactly what I had in my visualizations, I discounted it. My subconscious started to give it more thought.
I realized that our house wouldn't need too many renovations to be more in line with my manifestation. I still wasn't sure, though, because it meant I would be commuting about 40 minutes to work. I currently walk about 30 minutes or drive 10 minutes to work. And I worried that I might feel isolated not being in the bustling life of Brooklyn. I was scared to make this change. My children are leaving for college, so it's going to be quiet at home. Did I want to feel more isolated by living out by the ocean? I've been doing DIs to help with this fear, and we're moving back to the house on October 1st! So I believe I passed this test.
Another test was with work. I am an assistant principal at an elementary school. My job is extremely rewarding but also very stressful in that demands are constantly changing, and there is constant problem-solving that must happen. I enjoy problem-solving, but this causes a lot of stress for my boss, the principal. When problems arise, my boss becomes very challenging and can be condescending. I've had to use the Unblocked Boundaries, Unblocked Fear, Unblocked Child, and lots of triggers to overcome feelings of undeservingness around her. All the Dis and work around my worth have paid off, and whenever I am around her I intentionally set the tone for how I will be treated, and it works!
Letting her know that I wanted to reduce my workweek was a huge test. I found lots of reasons to avoid this—the students and teachers need me—but I knew that this was a test, and the Universe sent the challenges of this summer—my husband being burned and in the hospital for 6 days, my friend's debilitating surgery, my car accident, my children moving away to college, my having to cancel a mindfulness retreat—as a way to say, "are you going to let go? Are you deserving of the life of ease you want, or will you keep running and looking for ways to avoid your worth?" I passed this test! I let her know I would be working four days a week because I needed more balance in my life. I've accrued enough vacation days (over 60) that this will not affect my salary. I am a Union employee. I contacted my Union, and I have their support. This is happening! And the icing on the cake is that I believe my actions over the past 6 months have been a model to her. Taking this time for myself has created a change in our relationship. She is less condescending, and on the few occasions that she is, it does not affect me at all, and she sees that immediately and even apologizes. She has begun talking to me about how to take care of herself.
Did you experience a magic dark period? If so, tell us about it.: To be honest, magic darks have always been confusing to me. I believe this is the time before a manifestation comes in. If I'm correct there, then yes, all the events of the summer that I wrote about in the Pathway Community, which led me to write out this motivation--thank you for the push!--were a magic dark.
I think the reason I don't think about magic darks so much is that I don't actively look for manifestations. I'm more of a process person, and then when the manifestations come in, I'm super excited. Based on the test about the beach house above...... Before we move in, we are having the bathroom and kitchen redone, and my husband has already made some other improvements that are making it more like the home I've been calling in. It may ultimately be a bridge house, meaning down the road I expect I will have an even better beach house!
Passing this test means that we stop paying $2400 per month rent and live free since our beach house is a two-family, and our tenant downstairs pays the mortgage. Additionally, since we're moving back to our primary residence, the universities our triplets are attending are offering to give an additional $4000 to each of them in financial aid. (The universities were--rightfully so--considering our beach home an asset. Now it's a primary residence).
This helps with the manifestation of how to pay for the kids' education. I come from extreme poverty and never learned about financial investing. I was in survival mode for most of my life. Up until my 40s, really. And when the kids were young, I needed to take several years off to care for them--paying for childcare for triplets was not in our budget, even if I worked full time. So we never figured out how to save for their education. As they got older and older and excelled more and more in sports and academia (scholarships to private high schools) I really worried about how to help them follow through on all that hard work and pay for college. This is one reason I've decided to become a life coach. I AM LIT UP ABOUT COACHING, but I also know that we need substantially more income to pay for their schooling.
Well, the Universe has supported my work in deservingness, and so each of the children has been able to get amazing scholarships. Two of my children are going to Brown University, which has a tuition of $80k inclusive. They each were awarded $64k in scholarships from Brown, and then independently, they each earned $7000 from outside scholarships. This left us to pay $9000 for each of them. Now with moving back to the beach house, that will be $5000 each--for an Ivy League education. My other son is attending Syracuse University, and is in a very similar situation. That tuition is $65k inclusive. He earned about $50k in scholarships. This means that we have manifested $180k in scholarships for the next four years. We will be taking on only about $20k in loans per year. This sounds like a lot, but student loan rates are the lowest of all loans, and as my life coaching practice continues to manifest itself, I'm sure that debt will be obliterated!
Life coaching is another manifestation. It used to be a dream. But over this summer, as I've slowly worked on learning the marketing aspects--I became certified in the mindset content earlier this year--and have worked through so much shadow to be able to learn, clients have started to connect with me.
How did your manifestation come through?: Based on the test about the beach house above...... Before we move in, we are having the bathroom and kitchen redone, and my husband has already made some other improvements that are making it more like the home I've been calling in. It may ultimately be a bridge house, meaning down the road, I expect I will have an even better beach house!
Passing this test means that we stop paying $2400 per month rent and live free since our beach house is a two-family, and our tenant downstairs pays the mortgage. Additionally, since we're moving back to our primary residence, the universities our triplets are attending are offering to give an additional $4000 to each of them in financial aid. (The universities were--rightfully so--considering our beach home an asset. Now it's a primary residence).
This helps with the manifestation of how to pay for the kids' education. I come from extreme poverty and never learned about financial investing. I was in survival mode for most of my life. Up until my 40s really. And when the kids were young I needed to take several years off to care for them--paying for childcare for triplets was not in our budget, even if I worked full time. So we never figured out how to save for their education. As they got older and older and excelled more and more in sports and academia (scholarships to private high schools) I really worried about how to help them follow through on all that hard work and pay for college. This is one reason I've decided to become a life coach. I AM LIT UP ABOUT COACHING, but I also know that we need substantially more income to pay for their schooling.
Well, the Universe has supported my work in deservingness, and so each of the children has been able to get amazing scholarships. Two of my children are going to Brown University, which has a tuition of $80k inclusive. They each were awarded $64k in scholarships from Brown, and then independently, they each earned $7000 from outside scholarships. This left us to pay $9000 for each of them. Now with moving back to the beach house, that will be $5000 each--for an Ivy League education. My other son is attending Syracuse University, and is in a very similar situation. That tuition is $65k inclusive. He earned about $50k in scholarships. This means that we have manifested $180k in scholarships for the next four years. We will be taking on only about $20k in loans per year. This sounds like a lot, but student loan rates are the lowest of all loans, and as my life coaching practice continues to manifest itself, I'm sure that debt will be obliterated!
Life coaching is another manifestation. It used to be a dream. But over this summer, as I've slowly worked on learning the marketing aspects--I became certified in the mindset content earlier this year--and have worked through so much shadow to be able to learn, clients have started to connect with me.
The Buddha statue has come through as well! It has been in my mind for years really, but I never thought I had "meditated enough" or "serious enough about meditation"--it was a worthy problem really--to have an altar. Now I've dedicated a place in our new home for my meditation altar, and the beautiful Buddha statue I want was just shown to me as I was shopping last week. It is quite reasonable--only about $30, and so that manifestation has come through.
How long did it take for your manifestation to come through after crafting your initial list?: About 3-4 months.
How frequently were you using the workshops and DI's when you noticed the biggest shift surrounding your manifestation?: Every morning, I keep my headphones near my bed, and after doing my meditation, I choose a DI.
How do you incorporate this work into your life on a daily basis? Any tips, tricks or recommendations for getting the most out of it, or personalizing it?: I listen to all the Explained, Process, and Supported podcasts and just have the process running under the surface. For example, if something comes up for me in the form of a trigger, I will often pull the car over or close my office door and think about my magnetic parents and what I need from them. I'll give myself a hug, and tell myself the words that I would use if I were in a DI, hearing Lacy's directions.
I've also become very gentle with myself around the DIs. It's ok if, while in the middle of one workshop I stop and do a trigger or fear DI if that's what I need for the day.
If you'd like, please include your IG handle:: @mindsetcoachingforsuccess
Want to remain anonymous?: No
Is there anything else you think we should know? If you made this process your own in any way, this is the perfect spot to share that.: I often will do a DI, or listen to the binaural beat while walking to work. I walk along a very beautiful neighborhood of gardens called Ditmas Park. This tranquil walk, with the calming DI, prepares me for the day. One epiphany I had, I believe as a result of the walk with the DI, is that I am not my trauma. It is something that happened to me. This was huge in moving me forward. By trauma, I'm referring to my father having a drug addiction for all of my childhood, causing him to be incarcerated, absent, and stealing from the family. Additionally, my mother died instantly in a car crash when I was 14. Trauma was where I lived most of the time. But using the DIs was so powerful in moving me from that place and allowing me to see my worthiness and allow the manifestations to come through.
WORKSHOPS
Shadow / Inner Child / Love / Money / Uplevel / Boundaries
