Building My Confidence Led to Launching A Business
Name: Stephanie Issa
Where do you reside?: Carlsbad, CA
What is your cultural upbringing and background?: Middle Eastern (Lebanese) upbringing by a single mother of three kids. My mother worked three jobs growing up, so I mostly raised my siblings.
Are you currently a Pathway Member?: No
What was on your manifestation list?:
- To feel happy and rested enough to have a second baby.
- To have better, deeper sleep. No insomnia.
- To get my psychic intuition back.
- To own a beautiful Mediterranean home by the water or near it. It will have 4-5 bedrooms for our growing family, a nice backyard for my son to play in, modern updates, close to city life, family-friendly and peaceful.
- To be able to host my friends more often. Be around a community of close friends.
- To go to Portugal or Spain for 3-4 weeks.
- Get clarity on career or startup business ideas.
- Get an MVP for my startup
- To sell my current home for $950K+
- To get into the Y Combinator program
- Go to Hawaii for a week with husband and son
What workshops did you use and what blocks did you discover during the DIs & workshops?: Unblocked Inner Child
> Blocks: Mental health was a big issue in my family growing up. My mother was extremely burnt out growing up, and I never saw her push for boundaries and rest. Self-care was completely non-existent, so I've associated motherhood with sacrifice and burnout. My soul needed my mother to take better care of herself. She didn't have her needs met, and this is something I've had to unlearn and heal from. Most of the time, I ignore my body's signal to rest and slow down, and it leads to chronic neck and back pain. I have so much chronic pain that my skin hurts sometimes, and I don't like being touched or even getting a massage. I'm trying to work on that.
My mother worked so much that I felt neglected as a child, leading to feelings of needing to control and fix everything.
I'm able to imagine my magnetic self as well as my magnetic mother. But I cannot picture my father being magnetic at all, so I've had to create a completely different person to be my magnetic father. This made me feel in control and was quite healing. My father was extremely abusive so it's difficult for me to think of him. But picturing someone else who was warm and kind was really nice.
I also realized I have some subconscious conditioning when it comes to being a "good girl" vs. a "street girl" - something my middle eastern relatives would instill in me to keep me in line as a young girl. This made me very worried and self-conscious when it came to finding out who I am and accepting who I am.
Unblocked shadow
> Blocks: I have issues with stepping out of line, getting attention, and standing out. I struggle with being seen or heard. I've always been told that women are demure and soft. And my personality is the opposite. In some way, being confident has some shame associated with it, and pushing for boundaries was seen as selfish. Self-acceptance has been a block for me. I struggled with being my authentic self, which is someone who is strong, opinionated, a leader, and is very much motivated in her career. Instead, I was raised hearing that I was too bossy, selfish, controlling, and intimidating.
My shadow is a woman who doesn't take care of herself. No self-care. This somehow translates into how I saw my mom and is a big fear of mine. My magnetic self is someone who is confident in herself and takes care of her needs without shame or guilt.
A big block for me was getting the courage to advocate for more "me-time" as well as wanting to go back to work without "abandoning" my family.
If you did work with a coach or a few, who did you work with, in what capacity (Q/A service or Session(s)) and how did that contribute to your manifestation process?:
What expanders did you find?: Valeria Lipovetsky - A YouTuber mom of three kids. She's an entrepreneur and advocates for pursuing your dreams while being a mom.
Suneera Madhani - She founded and owned a billion-dollar company. She's a mom of two and advocates for moms pursuing their careers.
Christine Ong Forsythe - My now business partner at The Lullabar. I just realized she was an expander for me so this is cool. Christine is a successful entrepreneur and a dedicated mother.
All three moms have figured out how to pursue their passions while also being dedicated mothers.
What tests did you face? Which did you pass? Not pass?:
- Real estate agent telling me that there's no way that my house will sell for $950K+. We actually sold it for $1.2M. :) PASS
- During our home search, I saw the perfect new home, but it was in the worst neighborhood. Not peaceful at all. PASS
- Desperate to figure out my next career move, I started getting asked to work part-time for past toxic clients. It was tempting but I decided not to. PASS
Did you experience a magic dark period? If so, tell us about it.: I quit my job when my son was 6-8 months, and it was during COVID. I was lost and didn't know what to do with my life and career. While I was in limbo, I started doing a lot of entrepreneurship courses and TBM work. I was so dedicated to figuring out my life as a new mom that I would study early in the mornings before my son woke up, and I would work during his naps and after he went to bed. I completely dedicated myself to figuring out my next move and trying to work on my confidence to execute fully. After months and months of hard work, then came the magic dark period.
It wasn't until my now partner, and I had a leisurely self-care day at the pool that the idea of The Lullabar came about. The Lullabar is a wellness cafe for mothers and caregivers to receive self-care services while the little ones are entertained in our play gym.
We open in early 2023 and have over 1000 moms on our waiting list. :)
How did your manifestation come through?: I bought my Mediterranean house in Carlsbad! The first thing I said when we pulled up to the neighborhood was, "wow, this is so peaceful" > not realizing that I had written that in my manifestation list.
I sold my house for $1.2M, about $500K over what we bought it for.
I found my career and startup idea, along with an amazing business partner.
How long did it take for your manifestation to come through after crafting your initial list?: 12-15 months
How frequently were you using the workshops and DI's when you noticed the biggest shift surrounding your manifestation?: They came after I processed the DIs and stopped. I feel like my list was really demanding, and it takes time for everything to come together. I did not ask for small things.
How do you incorporate this work into your life on a daily basis? Any tips, tricks or recommendations for getting the most out of it, or personalizing it?: I think reminding myself of why my magnetic self is the way she is helping me pursue my dreams. I need my magnetic self to be confident and assertive when it comes to self-care so that I can advocate for moms who struggle with self-care themselves.
If you'd like, please include your IG handle:: @thelullabar @stephieissa
