Huge Shifts After A Magic Dark
Name: El Reagan
Where do you reside?: Madison, WI
What is your cultural upbringing and background?: East Coast, Middle Class, Small-Town, Catholic
Are you currently a Pathway Member?: Yes
What was on your manifestation list?:
-my partner/girlfriend
-clarity around my authentic self
-my current career
-aligned medical team for my disabilities
-medical treatment that alleviated some of my symptoms
-my current apartment
-a move out of the east coast
-my dog
-multiple groups of friends
What workshops did you use and what blocks did you discover during the DIs & workshops?: Unblocked Inner Child, Unblocked Shadow, Daily Practice (2-3x per week)
Blocks:
-compulsory heteronormativity
-medical trauma from past providers
-masking (ADHD/ASD) keeping me from knowing my authentic self
-shrinking parts of myself to make others comfortable
What expanders did you find?: A variety of expanders, from celebrities (Selena Gomez and Sarah Hyland) to TikTok channels (Mary Skinner and Dana Kid). Really anyone who had disabilities similar to mine and people who identified as queer that we're living a vulnerable/open life.
What tests did you face? Which did you pass? Not pass?:
-quitting the job that moved me from NYC to WI (pass)
-getting a job teaching full-time with benefits before my insurance was gone (50/50)
-waiting for a job that was right to find me rather than taking the first job with benefits (pass)
-going on multiple dates with different women without being ready for the commitment (50/50)
-reopening the door for a romantic connection with my current partner (pass)
-leaving providers who did not validate my experience or have my best interest in mind (pass)
Did you experience a magic dark period? If so, tell us about it.: My magic dark happened from December 2021 to March 2022. My therapist had dropped me for my trauma being too triggering for her without notice at the beginning of December. Then a day after Christmas, the woman I was seeing told me she needed space. And after that, the teaching job I had, called and said that because I couldn't predict the days I would need off due to my health, it was best that we "mutually part ways." This rut cleared everything out and led to a magic dark for 1-3 months of me sitting in my worth and not accepting less than what I was worth until my manifestations started coming through.
How did your manifestation come through?: My relationship came from a ping that I got after the new year in January 2022 to reach out to a woman I had gone on a first date with in August 2021. We had seen each other as friends a few times after our first date, but in January 2022, we started hanging out regularly and then realized we were both ready for an emotional commitment in February 2022.
My current career came through a previous coworker and friend. She had gotten a job at a local company as a quality engineer. She knew I was looking for a job and told me there was another quality engineering position open if I wanted to apply. I wasn't sure at first, but after speaking with her, I decided to apply. I got several interviews for the position and was offered the role in March 2022, and have been loving the job since.
My medical team/treatment came in very quickly after I had a change of insurance. I first got an aligned PCP who helped me find a rheumatologist and psychiatrist. Then I got a therapist who is queer and specializes in my specific disabilities and EMDR. For my medical team, I followed my gut and listened to the pings I was getting from the universe. My friends and dog came to me through my apartment complex, and the pings I was receiving.
How long did it take for your manifestation to come through after crafting your initial list?: Some came quicker than others but in total, two years
How frequently were you using the workshops and DI's when you noticed the biggest shift surrounding your manifestation?: I was mostly using the daily practice DIs and noticed the biggest shift when I was doing them 3-5 times a week or daily.
How do you incorporate this work into your life on a daily basis? Any tips, tricks or recommendations for getting the most out of it, or personalizing it?: I try to do a DI every morning or afternoon, I will schedule it into my work day, so I have space to complete it. I use journaling to enhance, but what is really important for me is consistency. Even if I don't have the time or energy to complete an entire DI or journaling prompt, just getting started is enough to keep my self-worth high. I like to do DIs under a weighted blanket or while I'm walking my dog outside. If I feel like it's hard to drop in, it usually means I'm understimulated, so I'll use a sensory/fidget toy to occupy my body so my mind can focus on the DI.
If you'd like, please include your IG handle:: @the.sapphicsiren, @elreagan (I am not very active on IG, I'm much more active on TikTok)
