Changing My Life In Ways I Only Dreamed Of
Name: Rebecca Whitaker
Where do you reside?: Benjamin, Utah
What is your cultural upbringing and background?: As the oldest girl in a family of 13 children, I was raised in an extremely Mormon, conservative household in Utah. I was homeschooled until I attended college, and even then only attended the church's college, Brigham Young University, so everyone I interacted with until adulthood belonged to the same religion. My family was poor, and though we were taught to work hard, we were raised with extremely strong mindsets (down to saving used ziplock bags, using a coal-burning stove instead of the house's furnace, and being shamed for not eating every bite of food on our plate). I was taught that my role in life was to be a wife and mother and that that role alone would bring ultimate fulfillment and blessings. (For context, I went through a faith transition last year and have started my healing from the unhealthy messages I was brought up with through TBM).
Are you currently a Pathway Member?: Yes
What was on your manifestation list?:
My first list, back in Jan 2022, included making $3000 a month from my art (which was 2x what it was currently bringing in), learning to love myself, and feeling confident in my sexuality. My list grew to include:
-learning to say no/set boundaries
-a dream apartment that felt expansive, spacious, and inspiring
-a new income portal
-my soul family
-receive a unique/unforeseen opportunity (surprise me universe!)
-feel more confident in the purpose of my work/art.
-and have my ideal clients come to me with ease without me having to desperately try and find them
-feel more confident in the purpose of my work/art.
-freedom.... (I didn't know what that would look like, I only knew that I felt extremely trapped in my reality with no idea of how to escape. I was in an unhealthy marriage with no experience providing for myself, a two year old daughter to care for, and completely unsure of myself, my sexuality as a Bi woman, and scared of my future.)
What workshops did you use and what blocks did you discover during the DIs & workshops?: I started with How to Manifest, then moved on to Unblocked Inner Child, Unblocked Shadow, and Unblocked Money, along with using the library as needed, especially the Trigger and Reenforcing DI (and lately all the new ones that are absolutely beautiful). I also was using EMDR and IFS hand in hand with this healing process which was incredibly helpful and sped up my manifestation process.
What blocks did I run into? Where to begin....I kept running into a deep lack surrounding money, even though I didn't recognize it until I looked at the relationships in my life and drew honest parallels. Some of my deepest wounds/limiting beliefs that I discovered were "I am bad," "I am unworthy of unconditional love," "I am powerless/helpless," and "I have to be perfect". (I took one of those through the unblocking challenge, which was awesome!)
What expanders did you find?: Expanders for me often came through social media. I would identify a block or limiting belief and set the intention to find an expander to help shift things for me, and almost immediately (and I mean within days), I would find someone on Instagram or TikTok that embodied the very thing I didn't think was possible for me. Something I would feel too scared to do, I would suddenly feel such permission and empowerment to move forward with because I had seen with my own eyes someone just like me doing the same thing (in their own way). Even little things like seeing someone use their voice in a way I had wanted to but was afraid of judgment.
In manifesting part of my soul family, I also was able to witness first-hand so many things on my list through the people I was getting to know in person. I watched them set boundaries, love unconditionally, say no, feel comfortable in their sexuality, spirituality, and openly share things they were passionate about no matter what others might think--all things that had been major blocks/fears for me in my journey.
What tests did you face? Which did you pass? Not pass?: One of the biggest tests for me during this six-month journey was having my Instagram account hacked and deleted back in June. As a self-made entrepreneur and artist, my Instagram account and large following there was the primary place I promoted my work, received opportunities and made sales. Then just like THAT, overnight, all of it was gone. Years of work, my entire online community, endless photos, and carefully crafted captions, and hundreds of contacts I had worked for and gathered into one place were all taken away. I still remember the day it happened and feeling SO grateful that I had the tools to face this challenge in a way I wouldn't have been prepared to just months before.
I knew exactly what to do to release cortisol, stress, and fear from my body, drop into meditation or DI, and not let my circumstances create my reality but instead choose to create emotions within myself that then magnetize a new reality TO me. I love Dr. Dispenza and his work and used his meditations hand in hand with TBM, listening to more TBM episodes than ever to boost my confidence in myself and choosing not to let this ruin my business or my happiness. While friends and family were freaking out on behalf of what happened, I actually started to feel a little excited at this opportunity to put all these tools to the test.
I also had LOTS of tests happening around the same in relationships. Some I passed, others I failed and learned from. But I was learning to express my needs, set boundaries, say no, and even walk away from people and practice letting go of the need for approval. I had SUCH anxiety about losing approval that even getting a random text from someone I was seeing or dating would send a shot of adrenaline through me, before I had even read it because I was so afraid that I had done something wrong and somehow become a disappointment to them. Those were great opportunities to practice showing up for my frightened inner child and take her by the hand, offering her to trust me a little more so we could heal together.
Did you experience a magic dark period? If so, tell us about it.: Yes, definitely with my dream apartment. There was an apartment I felt CERTAIN was supposed to be mine, and when I didn't get it, I fell into a magic dark that lasted a couple of months, where I had to learn to surrender, let go of attachment, and trust in divine timing. In Human Design my manifestation pattern is non-specific, so this was a perfect time to practice focusing on the FEELING that I wanted to have in my new apartment (and learning to tap into that feeling in the home I was currently in which ended up being such a beautiful experience) and letting my mind stay open to however the universe chose to bring me more of that feeling.
Personally, I have grown to love trusting in the unknown and have learned from experience that when I get too caught up in the specifics, I am only limiting myself to what is truly possible for me, and if I can ease into the process with trust I can rest assured that the universe is going to surprise me with a manifestation that is WILDLY BEYOND what I could have imagined up in my mind. And right NOW, I'm currently in a magic dark with my career, especially with having to start my Instagram account and following from scratch. I had received a beautiful vision one night of how losing the account is actually preparing me for a new income portal that is aligned with my purpose and mission, but I wasn't shown the specifics of how to make it happen, so it hasn't come through yet. I've found myself having to practice letting go of the monkey-mind brain that wants to know everything for certain and "figure everything out" and trust that if I keep moving forward and surrender to how it unfolds, it will eventually come through and be a million times better than what I could have imagined or forced on my own.
How did your manifestation come through?: Which one?? Everything from a free slush to unexpected and kismet connections with my soul family, to tests that ended up as blessings, there's just too much to try and summarize. But one that I love talking about is how my dream apartment came through. I was in the thick of a magic dark. Having missed an opportunity to live in what I had thought was my dream apartment, I waited for a good couple of months and settled into the feeling of trust. I wanted a new apartment and needed a bigger studio, but I didn't know how it would come through, and in the meantime, I was practicing tapping into the feelings I wanted in a new apartment at my current place, which was actually making life really beautiful.
I wasn't in my dream apartment but I would have days where I had gotten so good at tapping into emotions I was manifesting that I would feel like I was living my ABSOLUTE DREAM LIFE in that apartment, just so full of gratitude for all I was able to enjoy and love there. I started to get pings to look into moving to NYC, though even while following those pings and getting excited, I let my mind stay open to whatever opportunities came my way. I told my mom more than once, "I'm not even sure that NYC is it. I'm just following whatever pings I get and trusting that when the manifestation comes through, I will recognize it." Looking back, it was essential that I followed those pings to look into NYC even though that's not where my manifestation took me because it was in looking into NYC that I really figured out what mattered the most to me in an apartment AND cleared out blocks for what I could afford. I'm proud of myself for recognizing those lessons without getting attached to the idea of NYC because only a week later, my manifestation came through, completely unexpected and undeniably right for me.
Instead of moving across the country, my manifestation took me back to my home-town--which I know most people dream about getting out of, but for me, my hometown is the most beautiful little haven that I simply never considered because I never thought I could have afforded it even IF something opened up for rent, which in the last four years hasn't happened once. It's a super small town, so renting isn't even an option there typically. Then one day, I got a call from my mom saying someone my brother worked for was looking to rent out their home, and if I wanted, I could be the first to see it. Once again, I didn't even think it would really be an option for me, but I went to see it anyway to make my mom happy.
Then she told me the address, and the home was on a lane called River Road, which had been my favorite place to go walking growing up because it was the most beautiful road with only one or two homes on it, winding its way along a river and just always felt so magical to me. And then, when I walked into the home, I just felt it in my gut (human design Sacral authority over here): THIS WAS IT. Not only was it a dream location, but it had a big room that would double the size of my studio. It felt open, expansive, and inspiring. OH AND!! That day, the synchronicities were through the ROOF! I had received a message through the stars that that day I was going to let go of a career goal and take a new opportunity instead that would end up being far better for me and my career. How crazy is that??
Even though the landlord said he was getting hundreds of messages a day from people wanting to rent it, I knew what my budget was and asked him to lower rent by $200 so that I didn't compromise my budget. Sounds crazy, I know, but I just was so confident that if it was meant to be, it would, and the budget was something I couldn't go any higher on, and surprisingly it didn't even stress me out while I was waiting for his response. A week later, I signed the contract, and my daughter and I have been living here for two weeks now. I wake up every day in absolute awe that this is my life.
How long did it take for your manifestation to come through after crafting your initial list?: Ooh this is the fun part. This is where I get to say that within six months of starting the work and crafting my list, I have manifested my dream home (even better than I ever could have imagined would be possible for me), financially made FOUR TIMES the monthly income I had written on my first manifestation list for three months in a row (which is nearly 7 times what I had been making when I first started TBM), along with everything else on my list coming to fruition in beautiful, unexpected ways. Little manifestations have come to me within a week now, and I'm in the process of creating a new list of bigger manifestations to keep expanding my already beautiful and dream-come-true life.
How frequently were you using the workshops and DI's when you noticed the biggest shift surrounding your manifestation?: When I first started TBM I was doing the workshops daily, sometimes even twice a day. Honestly, though, I think the manifestations started coming through with the most ease when I relaxed a bit and let go of the NEED to follow a schedule and instead learned to surrender to the flow of my life and become more in tune with my mind and body. Once I became more familiar with my patterning, I could use the workshops and DIs more as needed without "shoulding" on myself to "get it done," and it became more meaningful and powerful, even if it was less often.
How do you incorporate this work into your life on a daily basis? Any tips, tricks or recommendations for getting the most out of it, or personalizing it?: As a busy mom and entrepreneur, it has been essential to tailor this manifestation process to my specific daily needs. One of my most prized possessions is my little manifestation journal, which I update almost daily with pings, triggers, tests, manifestations, and synchronicities. I keep this particular journal simple, so it's easy to look back at my patterns and see how quickly things came through. I have a separate journal where I go deep into my triggers, thoughts, blocks, etc.
Sharing my manifestations with people who understand this community has also been so expansive for me. When I share it out loud and witness the shared excitement from people who love me, it helps the reality of what I just created sink in and sparks an excitement to do it again. It makes it feel more real and less just in my head.
Coming from such a deep lack mindset, gratitude has been the key to re-programming those pathways. Practicing gratitude has been a huge part of my journey, and I have a journal where I write down things I am grateful for before bed and even in the morning to reframe my experiences and circumstances and train my body to feel the emotions that I am manifesting more of. For example, suppose one night I notice my mind thinking about how I wish I made more money. In that case, I will take out my gratitude journal and write down all things I was able to enjoy with the money I currently make, and then those feelings of freedom and abundance that I was manifesting start to fill my mind and body.
If you'd like, please include your IG handle:: rebeccawhitakerart_
Is there anything else you think we should know? If you made this process your own in any way, this is the perfect spot to share that.: A year ago, if you had asked me if I could see myself being divorced at 25 years old, supporting myself and my daughter as a full-time artist, and living in a DREAM location and home with a beautiful studio and surrounded by a community of people that truly see me and love me, feeling fulfilled, confident in my purpose and my ability to create my own reality I would have laughed in your face and told you you must have me mistaken for someone else. Left to my own imagination and devices, I could never have forced this beautiful reality into existence. And my life still has so much more room to grow and is far from perfect--I think that one of the biggest misconceptions with this community is that if you're "doing it right," life will be easy.
Even while manifesting my dream life, I continue to face tests and challenges and have days I get depressed and tired. I cry just as much, if not more, than ever, but now I welcome those emotions and let them pass through me. It's about learning to dance with life instead of fighting against it. This process isn't about forcing anything, not even your own healing. It's about replacing judgment with curiosity, letting go of fear, and choosing love. It's about letting go of attachments, surrendering to the flow of life, and learning to trust that we truly are worthy of all the abundance and freedom, and love in the world. We just have to open our hearts to receive.
