Ending Relationships
Q: I had an affair. Was this just the Universe earthquaking me to get out of my marriage or relationship?
A: I believe that everything in life is a mirror to teach you how to integrate deeper to become your most whole, worthy, authentic self. You’re in a marriage that maybe society told you you had to be in or you were in love with this person, but you felt you needed marriage to be complete. Since you weren't doing the work to be whole and complete within yourself, you found external validation somewhere else to try to bring that completion. It also didn't turn out to be what was going to complete you. The real thing the Universe is doing for you is knocking you into learning that it has something it wants to give you. In order to align with that, you need to be whole, worthy, and complete on your own, not subconsciously seeking wholeness through the relationship with somebody else. That’s what you're here to learn. It wasn't to get you to leave your marriage. It wasn't this person. This other person obviously wasn't the one. You're the one. That's what you're being called to do. A great practice for you would be working through the Daily Reprogramming Exercise or Unblocked Love, as well as Unblocked Shadow and Unblocked Inner Child anytime you're feeling that. You need to go and take that and do the work around it to see what you are missing in your subconscious that creates wholeness within yourself. It's not to say you won't ever be in a relationship again, or you shouldn't have a relationship. Before you enter the next phase of a serious relationship with somebody you need to find this on your own first, or you're just going to keep attracting variations of this experience.
Q: What work should I do to help me get over a breakup?
A: Allow yourself to feel all of your feelings. Rock Bottom within Uplevel is a perfect workshop for navigating heartbreak. As well as the Deep Imaginings™ for daily support. You’ll see how you need to strengthen yourself as an authentic, magnetic individual, who doesn’t need a relationship. Now, if you're moving through the general stages of grief, the biggest thing I can suggest is feel your feelings. It is so important to feel your feelings. And finding your grace. Put yourself together, so you feel good and you have a true authentic projection. Also, you're very magnetic right now if you broke up with someone or they broke up with you. Use this energy in your practice. Use the How To Manifest workshop to call in little things you want in your life. The Universe loves to throw you a bone once you've ended a relationship. It means that you're committing to step into your power and receiving what is in alignment for you and not settling for anything less, regardless of what the dynamic was.
Q: Why is there so much fear around letting go of relationships that I know are bad for me?
A: You need to take this through Unblocked Inner Child and work to integrate your shadow surrounding this fear and attachment. If we were raised around environments that had unhealthy connection patterns, we have imprinted those as the “healthy” ways to connect. We’re here for survival and procreation, so we continue to loop and make those same mistakes. Anytime we have to step out of what we know to be safe and step into something better for us, it’s scary. Think about trying something new for the first time. You’re afraid. Once you do it, you create this new neural pathway that tells you that you’re safe. You gain the strength of confidence over time with repetition. I also suggest that you work through Reparent as well as facing your shadow to delve into why you’re afraid to step away from these relationships and the biggest thing that you need to do is cut those off to create magnetism.
Q: What’s the difference between the energy behind stepping into your power versus the Universe forcing you forward?
A: When the Universe earthquakes you into having to be on your path, it’s trying to push you closer to your purpose. Every time that happens, even though it can seem like all the pillars are crumbling, you’re actually having divine support to put together a strong foundation for you to unite with what you’re wanting – aka a Rock Bottom. Stepping into your power is when you willingly pass tests or you no longer settle for old self-worth behavior alongside unblocking and expanding. You are actionably stepping up.
Q: Should pings always feel good? What if they are scary or bring up fear?
A: Some pings don't feel good. I received great pings in my last relationship that I was in for five years. I was pretty certain this would be the person I would spend my life with. The ping started three years in; it was ‘leave.’ It was hard because I was tied up in his family and I was broke. We had a business together. The ping kept getting louder and louder, all of the time. I thought, "how am I going to do this? When would I do this? I can't imagine my life doing this," and then at some point I was about to fall asleep in between conscious and unconscious, and I heard the voice that said "leave, you need to go," and I left. When they feel that big and that different than where you are right now, they're little glimpses into the future. But more than anything, they're a sort of flashing light of what your soul is truly desiring. Pings are not always pretty. They're not always quick. They're not tangible, but they are little clues. Open up to it, surrender, and allow it to continue presenting itself. A great thing to do is write it down in your notebook and keep following the cookie crumbs, the pings. It's going to keep guiding you. They are your soul communicating shifts in your life that you need to follow.
Q: I’m doing the work but nothing is showing up. What do I do?
A: Anywhere that you’re feeling fearful in your life you need to be taking actionable steps through the things you fear. Work through your shadow because subconsciously there’s an element of you that doesn’t want to be seen or doesn’t believe you’re worthy of being seen.
Q: My intuition tells me that my current partner is not the one I am meant to be with, but it also tells me it’s not time to leave yet because I’m not financially independent and I still have lessons to learn in this current relationship. What do you recommend I do?
A: You both attracted each other for lessons. At this point in time, start building a Fuck You Fund, a bridge fund, so that you are able to have something when you are ready to leave. Really focus on being in your words, expanding right now and obviously picking up skills and learning how to communicate effectively when you need to. You will leave and you will be really magnetic when you do it.
Q: How do I figure out if I should stay or go with a partner?
A: Don't ever leave until you're 100% sure that it's a test because you'll find yourself manifesting similar things in the future, or running into the fire. Don't preemptively leave just because everything on paper is a sign that you aren’t supposed to be there. Your feelings will tell you. Your intuition's going to tell you when it's time to go and/or you're going to meet another person. Something will happen where you're literally going to wake up one day and know you have to go. Until that happens, be present in the experience. Do the work while you're in the experience- unblocking yourself and expanding yourself. The universe is working in such a majestic way that's ultimately going to fulfill your soul's purpose in a very successful way. Don't leave until you know it's time. You'll know when it's time to stay or go.
Q: I've been with my partner for almost eight years but have just started doing your work six months ago. When I think about what my partnership list would look like there are many things that are on my list I don't have with my current partner. Does this mean that my subconscious wants to move on to a new partner?
A: When you are in a partnership and you may be feeling that pull for something else, it's important to recognize if you embody the qualities within yourself that you're looking for in someone else. In our shadow, have we not addressed or integrated the things that we are seeking in someone else? I don't technically think you have to fully be what you're wanting to call in for it to come in and I think we attract and expand our partnership sometimes. Also, another important thing to recognize about your partnership list vs your current partnership is understanding if you did not receive those things fully in childhood and if you need to go through Reparent. I always want people to take a look at Shadow and Inner Child to understand themselves.
Q: What happens if you remain with a test expander? I'm starting to wonder if people in my life have married test expanders. What happens? I totally trust if they are not the one then someone better will come along, but I don't feel ready to leave this either.
A: I like to tell people to run into the fire so you pick up all the lessons and tests you're supposed to along the way. You will know when it's time to leave the situation. You will have a moment where you recognize that your needs aren't getting met. And yes, a lot of people marry their test because of societal programming. But guess what? They're supposed to, and they're supposed to learn from that, and then they're supposed to go out and find their real deals. You might as well explore whatever this is and I assure you that you’ll get a ping and know when it’s time to hit the road.
