Our Parents Still Had Work to do Themselves
As children, we see our parents as the representation and model of adulthood. We take most of what they say as the truth, our subconscious imprints their way of thinking and world views, and we begin to model their behavior. Our tiny selves see things in a very black and white way. We don’t yet have the mental capacity or wisdom that is the ability to see the context.
As we get older, we realize that our parents are only human. Along with any of the attributes we may admire in them, they also have limiting beliefs, unhealthy patterns, and pain just like everyone else. Parents aren’t perfect human beings - they were adults that still had inner work to do themselves. It’s often helpful to remind our conscious adult brains of this, as well as our subconscious inner child as we begin to unravel the programming and heal.
Part of inner child work is also finding a sense of peace around your parents - reminding yourself that they did their best at the time (please note this does not apply if you experienced abuse, neglect, etc). Even with the knowledge they did the best they could honor the truth of what you experienced as a child, not to blame your parents, but to allow for deeper healing. Now that you’re grown you are learning how to be the best version of a caretaker for yourself and taking over the responsibility of parenting your inner child.
You’ve got you, and you know how to take care of the 5-year-old version of you, as well as the adult you.
Photo by Adrian Xft
