Addressing Old Themes & Discovering There’s More To Me
Name: Jena Young
Are you currently a Pathway Member?: Yes
What was on your manifestation list?: I'm a beginner. Many of the things that I want to call in are big life stuff and less tangible, but I decided to start micro and very tangible, as was suggested. My subconscious told me to call in a fanny pack that I had lost many, many months ago. It had my Apple Watch, credit cards, cash, and other valuables inside. I really felt shame and embarrassment for losing it, because I lose a lot of things. But, I wanted to find it badly and decided it would be my first item.
*Note, I almost didn't choose this item as a beginning manifestation because I was so sure it was gone forever and felt like I was setting myself up for a disappointing situation, but I trusted my subconscious and went with it. In some ways, this material item seems so frivolous in the big scheme of life, but it was SUCH a powerful experience when it came through!
What workshops did you use and what blocks did you discover during the DIs & workshops?: How to Manifest, Unblocked Inner Child, and the beginning of Unblocked Shadow
What expanders did you find?: I didn't have specific expanders about lost/found items, but I let every person on Expanded help me to trust that this work will work if I keep it up. Along the way, I almost forgot about the fanny pack. It wasn't like other spiritual methods where you would try to WILL it into being. I just decided that I wanted to call it in, let go of the emotional charge around it, and got to work on the workshops, open to whatever happened.
What tests did you face? Which did you pass? Not pass?: I almost bought a new Apple Watch in the week before finding it. I was discouraged that it hadn't shown up, but decided to forgive myself and that it was probably time to just buy a new one and let go of the old story and shame. I did not buy a new one and then found mine days later.
Did you experience a magic dark period? If so, tell us about it.: In a sense... there were times where I really beat myself up for being so "flakey" ( a theme in my life) but then would bring myself back to work regardless of how challenging it was. In the week before finding it, I was especially low because I was about to give in and buy a new one. This felt a little like failing, but I also felt like accepting what was and letting it go was maybe necessary. As I mentioned, I didn't give up and was rewarded.
How did your manifestation come through?: I was listening to Expanded episode 92 and cleaning my kitchen. My kitchen has been under construction and a MESS for months as we transition to the newly done kitchen. I have been embarrassed by my old kitchen right now, but I see the light at the end of the tunnel and need to push through another couple of months. I was happy and feeling productive in the project of organizing.
I decided to unpack a package of paper towels into a tight dark closet. It's hard to see in there without lights, but I was feeling around for shelf space, and my hands came right onto the fanny pack! I grabbed it and, more than being excited about the items, I was proud of myself because I knew WHY I had found it.
If you'd like, please include your IG handle:: @jenayoung2.0
What is your cultural upbringing and background?: I am a 38-year-old female. White, middle class. Grew up as the child of an alcoholic / codependent parents. I learned from a young age to not trust my gut and that I was usually being overly "dramatic" or "making a mountain out of a molehill." I am the oldest of 2 girls and felt very responsible for my younger sibling. Our family looked very fun and put together on the outside, but didn't feel it on the inside. I learned how to lie at a young age, which led me to long-standing affairs in adulthood. There is much more to me :) But that is the gist.
