Complete Clarity as a Mother, Plus A New Home
Name: Leah Vanderveldt
Are you currently a Pathway Member?: Yes
What was on your manifestation list?:
Career clarity
Clarity on becoming a mother
A daughter
An easeful birth
A place to live outside of nyc during quarantine
Our first home
A move to New Orleans
What workshops did you use and what blocks did you discover during the DIs & workshops?: I started doing this work in early 2018 and started with Unblocked Inner Child and Unblocked Shadow. I was doing my own form of manifestation with the moon cycles and came to Lacy's work looking to heal mother wound issues and uncertainty in my career. I've since gone through all the workshops at least once as a pathway member.
I discovered a lot of blocks around making money as a creative, career pivot as an MG, letting myself be seen, security, productivity, luxury, and the tired/stretched-to-thin mom narrative.
What expanders did you find?: Lacy is a huge one for me. We actually had very similar backgrounds with young parents, enmeshment, and being raised in multiple homes.
Career expanders:
Carrie Anne James of French Is Beautiful
Shakirah Tabourn (astrologer)
Erica Feldmann of HausWitch
Mama/Creative Entrepreneur expanders:
Alexandra Dawson of Tallulah Alexandra
Julie O'Rourke
Ashley Wood
Jessica Murnane
Robyn Youkilis
What tests did you face? Which did you pass? Not pass?: I experienced a lot of career tests. Especially when looking to pivot. In my career before this one, I was a food writer — first as the food editor at mindbodygreen, then I did recipe development and wrote a few cookbooks. It never felt quite right to me, and I had a lot of difficulty feeling proud of or promoting my work. One of my biggest non-passes was agreeing to do a cookbook that I absolutely didn't want to do and then hating every second of doing it.
I was newly pregnant and nauseous for most of it while promoting it. I began passing tests turning down any food-related opportunities or gigs. It took me a long time to let go of that path, but once I did, I was able to get the clarity I needed to move forward. Another big test around motherhood was right after finding out I was pregnant, my mother going off her meds, and being very confrontational in a way that stirred up a lot of issues for me. It was ripe for inner child work, so I really focused on that in those early months of pregnancy to clear the variety of issues I had with her.
Did you experience a magic dark period? If so, tell us about it.: With career, several. There was a stretch of time where I wasn't making money with my food freelancing; then, I was approached to do two more books. Man, I feel like pregnancy is THE magic dark.
I also think I'm in one right now. I've set up this one-woman business, and it feels joyful and totally right. I've had a trickle of clients but not booking out yet. So I've been focusing on branding and showing up on social media in a new way in the meantime. I'm doing ideal client work and really feel like there will be a shift soon. I keep showing up to my daily work of not getting swallowed up in overwhelm or productivity to feel worthy or validated. I think those are the triggers still floating around but, I'm feeling sure that next year things are going to take off.
How did your manifestation come through?: With the home and move to New Orleans, we just manifested; it all happened so quickly. Once we made the decision that we were going to make a move (from Brooklyn), I found the house on Zillow 5 days afterward. We weren't looking to rush the move, but it seemed to tick every box. Then we got introduced to a friend of a friend who happened to be a realtor down there. I was slightly alarmed at the idea of it falling into place so quickly, but after taking a couple of days to sleep on it, I woke up one morning with the ping that we should buy the house (WITHOUT going to see it in person). We put an offer in, and, after a bit of back and forth, it was accepted.
This all happened within two weeks. When we went to go see it in person during the DD period, I noticed it had accents that were on my original list (but not totally make or break) that I didn't even notice on the virtual tour — like brass fixtures in the kitchen. As soon as I walked in there, I knew it was right for us. I really feel like I manifested our daughter, too. That one was more of a slow burn but so interesting to me. She is better than but so close to what I envisioned our kid is. I always felt like I needed a daughter — gender is a construct and I would have been happy with any outcome — but this really just felt like my fate. I heard a ping of her name (Maeve) the month before I got pregnant.
Another item on my list while I was pregnant was "an easeful birth" and I guess I could have gotten more specific, but I ended up having a scheduled c-section because she was breech. Not at all what I wanted, but it was as easeful — with an OR full of brilliant female doctors — as these things can go. She was born at 11:11, less than 3 hours after we got to the hospital, tiny but healthy and happy.
If you'd like, please include your IG handle:: leah.vanderveldt@gmail.com
What is your cultural upbringing and background?: Lower middle-class gal from Long Island. I grew up as the only child of a young single mom and spent my early childhood on the tiny (and remote in the off-season) Fire Island. My heritage is predominantly Irish, Dutch, and French.
WORKSHOPS
Inner Child / Shadow / Pathway
