Grateful For Such An Impactful Test
What was on your manifestation list?
I was calling creative partnership, my north node is in my 7th house, and I currently still am--but I experienced the most incredible test.
What workshops did you use and what blocks did you discover during the DIs & workshops?
After doing Inner Child twice, I manifested a dream mentor and expander in a guitar teacher. I play several instruments, but I had a lot of blocks around guitar from childhood. So I reprogrammed every stage of childhood with a great guitar teacher and made a list. I found a guitar teacher over summer who was within walking distance of my house (on my list!), but he wasn't right and after our contract was over, I decided not to renew and maybe to let guitar go. My current teacher/mentor reached out the first week of September. He contacted me out of the blue offering lessons! And the lessons are a trade, so it costs me no money. It's AMAZING and everything on my list. I am VERY grateful. My north node in Pisces is in my 7th house, house of partnership. I really enjoy the creative power of teams and it's something I've desired for a long time, so I made my list. I'd been running into a guy at an art venue I frequented--a venue I really loved and cared about and felt at home in, and the universe literally put me in his path so many times it was starting to get weird--but we hadn't spoken and I thought he might be a piece to the puzzle. I did the Shadow workshop to address subconscious beliefs around shyness and rejection and I did inner child for some social hierarchy stuff I'd picked up in middle school.
What Expanders did you find?
I went to a TBM dinner meet up in NYC held before Lacy's December event. I was seated next to a girl I had so many synchronicities with and very personal random things in common. I was expansive for her in apartments, and she asked me about my manifestation, I told her about my wish for creative partnership and this random guy I felt called to talk to. She lived upstate and mentioned an obscure band I'd never heard of--that I wrote off at the time, but would later turn out to be SO important.
What tests did you face? Which did you pass? Not pass?
After the dinner, instead of attending the TBM event, I tried to go to an open mic, but the trains were messed up. By chance the train I did get on led me near the art venue which was holding a community event. I felt brave, but scared and a little discouraged. I asked the universe for a sign. I had a ping to check IG and he had literally posted the SAME RANDOM BAND just hours before that my new upstate friend name dropped at dinner. So I went to the art venue, and sure enough, with the most divine synchronicity, I introduced myself. It was so satisfying, I felt so brave and alive--my entire soul felt expanded and rejoicing. But it was a test. And very weird. Maybe we knew each other in a past life. He thought he already knew me and sincerely said he was having deja vu, but then he brought me over to a few friends--the entire experience was a repeat of very specific impactful negative interactions I've had with guys across 9th grade into college all rolled into one. From not being seen as an equal artist but as a piece of ass to not being pretty enough to wingman BS to trying to get me to compromise my boundaries... all in a matter of 5 minutes. I remember thinking WOW I already did this, I already put up with this once before. It was very disappointing, but also very liberating. I was really in my worth and aware of the light and value I hold. I felt sad for them. And I said it was nice to meet you and I walked away.
How did your manifestation come through?
I'm still manifesting a creative partnership, but I am really grateful for such an impactful test that gave me an opportunity to stand in my power. Having the courage to approach someone I'd previously found intimidating was very liberating, and passing this test was an incredible boost to my self esteem. A few years ago I was healing an internalized belief that I was "bad", but when I came home from that night, I was so clear and aware of all the goodness and love and pure intentions that flow through my body.
