This Formula Is Magic
Are you currently a Pathway Member?:
Yes
What was on your manifestation list?:
I want to share how I manifested a partnership before I even knew about this work. Looking back now, I can see how I hit every hurdle on the way to manifesting my current partner that I am totally happy and in love with. The TBM process was exactly how it all came together, which reminds me now of how solid this formula is.
What workshops did you use and what blocks did you discover during the DIs & workshops?:
In general, I was doing a lot of inner child work and EMDR as I was working through various attachment disorders and abandonment issues I'd picked up in childhood. In all ways, I was unblocking my Inner Child, looking at my shadow and reprogramming to learn that better things were possible. While I didn't know about this work at that time, I was working with similar practices that had a drastic healing affect the more and more I chose to do the inner work needed.
What expanders did you find?:
I realized that I had never had a great example of a loving, supportive, and friend-like love relationship growing up since my parents divorced when I was eight and were never exceptionally loving to each other. I started to notice that I needed examples of this in real life to help me understand what that energy could look like and feel like. I had a few close girlfriends who had been in long term loving relationships with their partners and were now married, and I started spending more time with them and asking them about their relationship and paying particular attention to how they interacted lovingly and looked out for and supported each other.
What tests did you face? Which did you pass? Not pass?:
I had been in an emotionally abusive relationship on and off for two years with the first guy I fell in love with after graduating college. We were both pretty wounded but had never intentionally tried to look at our issues. Basically, I was a complete doormat in this relationship and knew that something was wrong and that I did not deserve to be treated this way, but couldn't help but go back over and over again. Finally, after starting EMDR therapy, I began to see the roots of my anxious attachment style and reprogram sad experiences from my childhood consistently.
Little by little, I began to see my self worth take hold, but still struggled with healthy boundaries. Then the Rock Bottom happened. My father passed away suddenly, and unexpectedly, everything changed, and I was thrown into grief. I'd still been loosely seeing my on and off abusive ex, but this was the last straw. We talked one last time, and I never spoke with him again after that. I knew this entire situation was a huge call from the universe to jolt me back on a more worthy path. So I kept doing the work of looking at my issues and fears and reprogramming.
This process took about 2-3 years of noticing my triggers, looking at what was coming up and writing and journaling what was there. I was getting more in my worth, but I wasn't there yet, and I kept meeting men that were either 'damaged' or just weren't what I was wanting. Eventually, when I was with one guy I had started dating, I remember sitting in bed one morning while he was sleeping and recapping our short dating relationship in my head. There were red flags left and right, and I knew I had ignored them. I broke off the relationship that week. A month later, he tried to contact me again to see if I was still interested, and I wasn't.
Test. I clearly told him I was not interested anymore and best of luck. A month later, after actively manifesting a partner and journaling about it often, I met someone who matched my list completely, and we were hot and heavy and hit it off from the start. I was so excited about him, but after our third all weekend hang, he told me that he needed to let me know that he was only interested in polyamorous relationships, period. I was thrown into a shitstorm, and he left. After a few days of processing, I knew that was not what I wanted at all for myself, so clearly set the boundary with him and the universe that I ONLY was looking for a purely monogamous relationship from now on. This one hurt, but I persisted. I feel this man was a test that I actually passed when all the other men I had dated were also tests that I did not pass.
Did you experience a magic dark period? If so, tell us about it.:
After setting clear boundaries with this person, I continued to journal about my worth, what I wanted in a partner, and the ways in which I would continue to thrive and take care of myself. I questioned when I would start to talk negatively about myself internally and really asked myself why. No relationship prospects arose, but I was finally okay with that.
How did your manifestation come through?:
Three months after passing the relationship test, I met my current partner in a very kismet way at a music festival with my girlfriends. I had always fantasized about meeting my partner at an event like this, and it happened! We struck up a conversation at a show, and the rest is history. We were both open about our intentions and past relationships from the start and talked for a long time (almost a month!) before we met again in real life and continued to hit it off.
Our boundaries are healthy, and he treats me like the worthy person I am. What I really took from all this is that the tests the universe throws you are real! Now that I am consciously doing this work, I can so clearly see how I had to hit rock bottom, unblock, pass many many tests that I didn't even know were tests over and over again until I finally set boundaries that were right for me and stood in my worth. This formula is magic!
