Following Signs And Patterns In My Life
Name: Taryn Kealani
Are you currently a Pathway Member?: Yes
What was on your manifestation list?: I started with health & fitness, a comfortable room, bio-mat, joov red light, partner, balance board, and financial support/savings. I'll always be working on the first one but definitely have moved into the emotional space I wanted to when it comes to my health/body. I've crossed off all the other ones except the partner - which I'm still calling in. My current list is a partner and a job/work situation that lets me be creative while financially supported.
What workshops did you use and what blocks did you discover during the DIs & workshops?: I started with Unblocked Inner Child, which brought a lot of healing to my traumatic birth. When I was born via cesarean, the doctor cut my mom's lower bowel unknowingly and closed her up. She then went septic and was put in a coma / had multiple, multiple surgeries to save her life and woke up months later. After our second day together, I wasn't able to be around my mom for about three months, so I didn't get to breastfeed or have any of the bonding skin to skin time. I got to go back and have a really beautiful, healthy birth where I got all the nutrients and good gut things (I have had a long past of bad digestive issues that might have stemmed from this) and lots of caring love.
How to manifest helped me craft my list for my new job and home. After I did Unblocked Shadow, which brought up a ton of low self-worth and shame - my keywords were emotional, selfish & useless. I did this as I started my new job, and It really helped me set my work boundaries / stand up for myself from the get go. Then I did Unblocked Love, which really really showed me the patterning I had always followed but, more importantly really started me on the path of falling in love with myself.
Unblocked Money came last, and I've been getting the ping to redo it since I'm still struggling with some fear/insecurity, but this year, I was able to achieve all of my financial goals and more. The biggest goal I achieved was I got out of 10k debt and now have savings, something I never thought I would have.
What expanders did you find?: Lacy was definitely my first major expander for self-worth. Jessica Walsh is a badass female designer and boss lady. Chrissy Teigen because she is half Asian like myself and also in a great relationship / very unfiltered. Small Spells, aka Rachel Howe who is very spiritual and creative. My coworker Erin who is a great mother and wife and is an excellent communicator. Miley Cyrus because she is very present and very much herself. More recently, I watched Hyori's Bed and Breakfast, which is a Korean show, and instantly felt the expansion from seeing her life and love.
What tests did you face? Which did you pass? Not pass?: Lots of tests, wow. I definitely had to run into the fire on more than a few partner tests. I had lots of tests at my new job, which were sometimes super subtle but definitely challenged my self-worth/work life boundaries. I passed a few, failed a few but ultimately left that job and moved into freelance. Recently I've had a lot of tests when it comes to working; I've gotten a lot of job offers for full-time but know I need to stay freelance.
They keep getting better and better, though! Recently I had the "perfect" opportunity to work in a community with people I love (which is what I'm calling in right now), BUT out of all the things I could be for, it would be a project for someone who I had distanced myself as I moved into my higher self-worth. I laughed when I read the project details.
Did you experience a magic dark period? If so, tell us about it.: I've definitely been in a magic dark when it comes to a partner for the past two years. It had its good days and its bad days, but it has helped me really look at why I want a partner and, more lately, really integrate that I deserve love and I can desire love. As someone who grew up Christian with a somewhat blind faith, I had to work through programming that wanting or desiring things was bad and selfish.
How did your manifestation come through?: The first big manifestation was leaving my toxic job situation back in 2018, and it came in an email randomly one day. I always ignore recruiters because of fear that somehow my boss might find out (I projected a ton on that relationship), but I felt the ping to open the email, and it was from the only other agency I said I would work at. I emailed back and took a quick phone call while I was in a meeting room at work, which felt especially badass. They flew me out, and as soon as I met my team and saw the city, I knew it was where I needed to be.
I've learned that I get this feeling in my gut when I need to do something and have also had some pretty specific signs. When I was moving, I kept seeing geese flying in a V on my drive and felt like they showed me that you can always go home. When I went to see the house I eventually moved into, I saw geese flying as I walked in and thought if I see them again, then this is the place. As soon as I walked back outside to my car, I saw them flying overhead.
If you'd like, please include your IG handle:: tarynkealani
What is your cultural upbringing and background?: Aquarius sun, Aries rising, and Taurus moon. I'm half Japanese and half white, born in Colorado Springs but raised mostly in Hawai'i. My parents divorced when I was young, and both remarried, so I have one full sister, two step brothers, and a half brother. I was raised in a very Christian household on my mom's side and went to church / did all the church things until high school.
WORKSHOPS
Inner Child / Money / Love / How to Manifest / Shadow
