Reinforcing Self-Worth & Finding a Healing Routine
Name: Leslie Prince
Where do you reside?: Fort Worth, Texas
What is your cultural upbringing and background?: Middle-class southern suburbia - my mom is white, my dad is white-passing Mexican
Are you currently a Pathway Member?: Yes
What was on your manifestation list?: Clear, dewy skin! I wanted cheek skin that was straight out of a Glossier / ILIA ad. I wanted hydrated, bouncy skin that was free of blemishes and irritations. I wanted breakouts to be few and far between, if any!
What workshops did you use and what blocks did you discover during the DIs & workshops?: ALL OF THEM! Unblocked Inner Child and Unblocked Shadow were particularly helpful for me. I realized that my family pattern was to not take care of essential things and just "get by" without it to avoid paying to have it fixed/remedied. My family system just ignores things until they become massive problems, and it reinforces the idea that every time something needs to be fixed, it's more expensive and frustrating than just ignoring it. My grandmother's home -where her six grown children and their families would visit- only had one fully working toilet.
Everyone knew you could only pee in the other toilet. To my knowledge, nobody even questioned what was wrong with it or who could fix it. We just reoriented our lives around it. This is the same at my parents' house - the gas stove lighter has never worked, so we always use a match to light it. These are little examples of how my family refuses to participate in regular maintenance out of a low self-worth/lack mindset.
So naturally, I was doing the same things in my own way... I had a really difficult journey with acne when I was 20, so I assumed it would be incredibly difficult or impossible this time around. I'm allergic to two key oral antibiotics, and my derm put me straight onto Accutane, which was emotionally very stressful and difficult. It didn't completely clear my acne, and I was completely exhausted after being on such intense medication for eight months. When acne would pop up on my face, I'd feel unloveable, gross, unhealthy, and go into victim mode. I'd pile on the makeup, and pick relentlessly.
When I put clear, dewy skin on my list, I thought that clear skin was my natural state, and I could access it whenever I wanted. I imagined my skin was fresh and dewy - straight out of an ILIA or Glossier ad. I also started researching dermatologists in my area. They had super long waitlists or couldn't get me in with my work schedule. I reached out to Facebook groups and friends and recommended some diets that I knew I couldn't maintain and would be dangerous given my disordered eating history.
I finally felt a ping to use telehealth and downloaded an app, paid $50 or so for a chat with a derm. I got a prescription for a topical antibiotic, retinol, and a recommendation for an OTC product. I immediately felt in my power, like an adult finally showed up to care for me. I used the retinol, OTC product, and antibiotic maybe 12 times total - it was super hard to transition to an everyday skincare routine!
But, my overall energy relaxed, and I began embodying the energy of being worthy of clear, dewy skin more often, and my skin CHANGED seemingly overnight. My old acne scars faded away remarkably fast, my skin felt more plump and hydrated - all without diet changes, any sort of regular skincare, or even a facial! I really believe my skin was a reflection of my low self-worth, and no products could change my skin while I was in this energetic slump.
What expanders did you find?: Olena Beley was a huge expander for me! Following her on Instagram opened up my idea for how skincare could look - not complicated, pyramid scheme, etc. I really believed what she said around skin being a reflection of our self worth and it really challenged me to take action based on recognizing my low self-worth behaviors.
What tests did you face? Which did you pass? Not pass?: Not settling for a dermatologist appointment that felt icky for me was a huge test that I passed. Usually, I'd get stuck, unable to find the perfect derm, so I'd use it as an excuse to stay stagnant and in victim mode. I also passed the test of dieting - a big, old trigger for me. I didn't pass the supplement test - I read somewhere online that DIM was a supplement that would clear up acne, and I bought an expensive bottle, used it religiously for two months, and saw no difference!
Did you experience a magic dark period? If so, tell us about it.: YES! While I still had huge zits on my cheeks, I would exit my house with my shoulders back, confident, knowing that my natural state was acne-free. I even started wearing less makeup, getting rid of all my heavy foundation products, keeping only a sheer bb cream + sheer bronzer. I was less hard on myself and my blemishes because I knew it wasn't a true reflection of my spirit, and it was a temporary transition back to my natural, magnetic state of clear skin.
How did your manifestation come through?: After my energy settled into a habitual belief that clear skin was my natural state, my skin cleared up like no other. There weren't even acne scars like I expected from years of picking at my cystic acne! It was just fresh, glowy, dewy skin with super minimal breakouts! I've been in this state of no breakouts without diet changes, skincare regimens for seven months now and feel so unblocked and worthy!
How long did it take for your manifestation to come through after crafting your initial list?: 6 months
How frequently were you using the workshops and DI's when you noticed the biggest shift surrounding your manifestation?: I was using them 3-4 times a week the three months leading up to my manifestation coming through
How do you incorporate this work into your life on a daily basis? Any tips, tricks or recommendations for getting the most out of it, or personalizing it?: I find the best time for me to do a DI is in the morning, but I do a "run through" of the exercise + DI in my head the night before. I read through the prompts and take note of what comes up. I sit with myself for a minute, noticing what I'm feeling and empathizing. Then I put on the DI to pay as I fall asleep. Sometimes I fall asleep mid-DI, sometimes I hear it end, and then peacefully go to sleep.
Then when I wake up, I journal out all the prompts and listen to the DI. I journal again anything that came up in the DI; then I move on with my day. It can be tough for me to connect to my subconscious, so doing it twice really helps me feel like I had all the time in the world for things to come up and trust that I'm going as deep as I'm able each time.
If you'd like, please include your IG handle:: @LeslieandCuddles
