A Life Changing Road Trip & So Much More!
Name: Jenell Riesner
Where do you reside?: Nomadic
What is your cultural upbringing and background?: German immigrant grandparents who were orphaned at age 13. My Opa fought for Germany in WWII, was a POW in Russia, and pretended to be an American citizen to escape Germany under Hitler's rule. I had a traditional midwestern upbringing. Parents who were high school sweethearts. A family that lives down the street from each other almost their entire life. First-generation college student. A culture ruled by fear and seeking safety over anything else.
Are you currently a Pathway Member?: Yes
What was on your manifestation list?:
1. A Beach Bungalow in California
2. A 10-month road trip around the united states to 35 of the states (which started out as this list: Maine in the Fall, Savannah, GA haunted houses, old mining towns, hike a mountain in the NE, drive the West coast from CA to Seattle)
3. $20K in freelancing income
4. A bridge job that gave me the ability to work with small businesses, in marketing, 4-days a week, remote, with a $125K salary, working for a woman with business experience, on a team with people I genuinely care about.
5. Time and space alone in nature. Getting so quiet and focused on me that I can hear what my soul, heart, and spirit really want. I keep saying I want to be seen and accepted, and that starts with me seeing myself for who I am now. Who I want to be. I want to find solitude in nature. Alone with my thoughts. I want to stop filling my voids with other people."
6. This specific jacket with fabric sleeves that matched one that I fell in love with but then had it "taken away." A funny story with this one.
7. A dry lifestyle and friends that fit in with my desire not to drink, less TV, basically less numbing
8. 23ft flying cloud airstream corner bed
9. A YouTube Series that was a mash-up of The Bachelor, Ghost Adventures, and Catfish where I took dates from Tinder to Haunted hotels and filmed it.
10. Co-Owning at Fitness Studio in my early 20s.
11. A Nomadic Lifestyle
12. Getting paid for my creativity
13. Getting laid off from a job I hated
What workshops did you use and what blocks did you discover during the DIs & workshops?: I've been a pathway member for a year. I've done all the workshops except for unblocked love.
Inner Child - Block around performing vs. being myself and catering how I show up in life to make people (stemming from my relationship with my mother) more comfortable. Also, looking to others to validate my decisions/ give me the answers. I have also always desired to "be the star" but actively hid behind boyfriends or friends with bolder personalities. I always ended up playing "the manager of the talent" instead of being the talent like I wanted to be.
Unblocked money- safety and security with money. I have the skill set of an entrepreneur but had so many beliefs from my family around needing a secure job. I can see how my parents and grandparents' belief systems keep me small and afraid of risk. The same dynamic that's kept me in the corporate world has also been mirrored in dating for financial security.
Daily Practice - I discovered that I am afraid of being loved. Love and control have been so intertwined for me. I'm anxious when I start dating because I rush to the I Love Yous to fill a void, and once I'm there, I feel like I am stuck playing house.
What expanders did you find?:
-A local networking group in California of Entrepreneur Women looking to make an impact which got me a lot of my freelance work
-5 Years of Hosting a podcast on authenticity allowed me to hear so many people's stories about how they live their authentic life, and I was able to take what worked for me from them.
-Being final two in a job interview process (after turning down a job offer) for a bridge job that gave me the ability to work with small businesses, in marketing, 4-days a week, remote, with a $125K salary, working for a woman with business experience, on a team with people I genuinely care about.
-There is a woman I went to High School with, I am basically her fangirl, and she does hotel tours with her husband. They are a creative duo and grew their following from 15K to 500K in a few months. She's a huge expander for me in both love and career.
I had four really impactful flings on the road. They each were a test and an expander and showed me aspects of what I am looking for in the long-term partner. Each showed up at the perfect time to help heal an aspect founded on in my TBM work. Many of these relationships were huge expanders for my nomadic lifestyle. Some were strong mirrors that showed me where I was making things about myself, repeating old patterns of long-distance relationships (great for an anxious/avoidant), and looking for someone else to save me or guide my life in a direction so I didn't have to choose for myself. Another was meeting someone who loved me so unconditionally with no strings attached right when I was starting to process how control and love were intertwined for me.
Honestly, I was my own expander a lot too. If I couldn't find someone that matched what I was looking for, I'd really push myself by taking action to prove myself wrong. That was an ongoing motive for me. Prove yourself wrong through small new experiences until you are your own expander. I don't know a lot of people trying to live a life as I want or that want a partnership like I want. Rather than waiting to find others who are doing it, I've always been a catalyst to get where I am going through my own visions.
What tests did you face? Which did you pass? Not pass?: I had a lot of rock bottoms to start off with. This journey really got kickstarted with a series of unfortunate fortune events.
-A breakup. (we owned a home together)
-Mortgage and rent payments of $3,500 a month. (He stayed in the house, I paid both the mortgage and rent for my new apartment)
-A triggering fling. (low self-worth, toxic person that mirrors old wounds right after my break up)
-A global pandemic.
-A significant reduction of income. (Pay cuts due to COVID)
-A part-time job cleaning carts at a grocery store.
-A death of my identity.
-The selling of 50% of my material possessions.
-A storage unit for all my remaining belongings.
-Moving back in with my ex-boyfriend. (when I lost 25% of my income, I had to move back into my condo with my ex during lockdown)
-A job that made me feel worthless.
-The sale of our home.
-Temporary housing.
-A lack of a plan.
-A pending layoff.
-Uncertainty.
-Getting laid off.
-Driving back to Wisconsin from CA because I didn't know what else to do.
I faced a lot of tests with love and money. Continuing to settle for safety over what I was actually looking for.
Did you experience a magic dark period? If so, tell us about it.: Yes, prior to my road trip, nothing was really happening. I was super depressed and was basically just waiting around for something to tell me what to do. I spent a lot of time driving and hiking by myself. I'd contemplate jumping off of cliffs. I could hardly get out of bed, let alone work and do a job I hated. I guess my rock bottom and my magic dark were maybe one and the same.
How did your manifestation come through?:
-Numerous romantic relationships each had a lesson/area of expansion.
-I did get laid off, which gave me ten magical months to learn more about what I value and how I want to define success.
-I've been living nomadically for 15 months and now have a full-time job. I've been to 35 states, 31 national parks and have done it all without a van or airstream.
-I found an Airbnb in California that matched perfectly what I was looking for in a beach bungalow and spent my "home" time there.
-I started my Youtube Challenge and have found people that are interested in having these experiences with me. It's been a start to allow myself to be seen.
How long did it take for your manifestation to come through after crafting your initial list?: It's been a range. Some came really quickly 2-3 months, others longer, some I am still working on, and some didn't happen, but my life has pivoted so much that they don't actually make sense at the moment. I'd love to discuss this topic on the podcast because I feel like I am failing when this happens.
How frequently were you using the workshops and DI's when you noticed the biggest shift surrounding your manifestation?: 3-5 days a week plus listening to the podcast and support on the daily.
How do you incorporate this work into your life on a daily basis? Any tips, tricks or recommendations for getting the most out of it, or personalizing it?: I try to do it first thing in the morning. When I feel like sleeping in, but I'm already awake. I will grab my computer and drop into a DI during those first moments of the day when I am still relaxed, and life hasn't come to me yet. It's WAY better than grabbing my phone and scrolling.
If you'd like, please include your IG handle:: jaynelreese
Is there anything else you think we should know? If you made this process your own in any way, this is the perfect spot to share that.: I'd love to be able to share my story with the community on the podcast. This work has been so impactful to me. I think my experience of being nomadic and still working a full-time job (and not living in a van or an RV) would be really expansive to share. Plus, my midwestern roots are very relatable for a lot of people. This time on the road has given me the language to share my story and experiences in a way that I believe others can connect with.
Either way, I hope my story helps the community.
Thank you!
