Incredible Connections That Flowed So Easily
Name: Maxine Dabrowski
Are you currently a Pathway Member?: Yes
What was on your manifestation list?:
- A healing new relationship post big break up in 2019. I had over 100 items on my dream partner + partnership list... covering everything from his upbringing, lifestyle, appearance, our dynamic, values, sex life – everything!
-A career propelling job in brand strategy, somewhere I can really grow – I'd previously been in assistant roles in social media content production for a few years. I wanted to be supported, creative and stimulated.
-A new home that is my sanctuary, being able to live on my own: needed to have a bathtub, floorboards, outdoor area, close to a particular area, good natural light, rent is no more than 30% of my income, close to a park, good storage, heating, older build but very well maintained, high ceilings the list goes on... I'd only ever lived in shared houses before, and having a place of my own was a really big deal psychologically and emotionally.
What workshops did you use and what blocks did you discover during the DIs & workshops?: In late 2019, I started with rock bottom, then Unblocked Inner Child, the Rut, Unblocked Shadow, and then the daily practice DI's as needed. Through these, I uncovered my blocks' layers around being not good enough for consistent, present care, love, and safety. Most of my blocks have to do with trusting people close to me will stay, will see me, and soothe me. I also discovered a lot of despair and anger to do with loss and lack of boundaries, and being protected.
What expanders did you find?: I found fragment expanders through friends, friends of friends, and even in movies... and especially in Ru Paul's Drag Race! People who have gone through feeling extreme loss, rejection, and not being good enough. The pathway group was also super expansive, especially with stories of people who recovered and were better for heartbreak and created their dream partnerships.
What tests did you face? Which did you pass? Not pass?: So many tests! I had to step up constantly in my new relationship and job. It's like I manifested so quickly or on a substantially increased level, I wasn't totally ready, so I had lots of tests in the form of triggers. Each time I showed up more fully to a trigger and strengthened how I create and apply boundaries, my relationship and job upleveled. I was triggered left, right, and center in my new relationship, but found I had this new resolve that I just couldn't shrink like I used to.
There were lots of triggers around being lied to, betrayed, and abandoned. At work, I could feel myself over-explaining or idealizing my superiors too much and passed them by avoiding being perfectionistic and engaging in dialogue more openly with my boss. I also had conflicts with family members and housemates that I learned to deal with differently, from a place of increased worthiness. With the house, I had to really catch myself when I was starting to settle for lesser options out of fear and desperation.
Did you experience a magic dark period? If so, tell us about it.: Yes, with the house and job I did. With the job, I had a magic dark twice! It actually started as a freelance arrangement, and when I first met my employer, it was 2-3 months before any work appeared for me. Then once that was on a roll later in the year, there was talk of a fixed-term contract for me if there was enough work on. But that was delayed for a few months, and I started to feel like I needed to look elsewhere.
I found an exciting lead that felt like it could "save me," but then it was just crickets from them. I didn't freak out; I just kept steady on my path. I felt supported by the universe that something would come in time. That lasted for another few weeks before the offer came through. With the house search, I was finding ones to inspect every couple of weeks, but then it was like none were on the market over Christmas and the new year. Nothing even remotely met my list, so I decided to cool off from searching and let it play it out for a few more weeks. I did start to panic and considered houses out of my price range or ideal area, or if I really needed a bathtub and balcony... but always came back to that knowing feeling that I deserved what I wanted and it was possible.
How did your manifestation come through?: My partner came through on Hinge. Over the months of getting to know him, I realized that he didn't just meet every requirement on my list, but he also created the atmosphere I dreamed of. I found my boss through a ping. I reached out to someone I had a hunch about who put me in touch with her. Her offer to me of a permanent salary contract came through eight months later after I had upleveled within the situation several times. It was so easy, I didn't have to prove myself, it felt really natural, and while I was super grateful, it was like a "but of course!" feeling, like it had always been.
My house came through very easily, too; I didn't feel like I needed to win the agent over and offer extra rent or anything dog paddle like that. After I applied, I had this sinking feeling in my stomach like.... this reality was now happening. It already existed for me. I got the good news the following day that I'd been approved!
What is your cultural upbringing and background?: I was born in Melbourne, Australia, in the '90s to two Polish parents that were very proud to now be Australian. They came from very abusive family homes, with a lot of trauma and codependency issues—super passionate, resourceful, and rebellious people. I'm the eldest, I have two sisters very close in age, and boundaries weren't a thing for us.
My parents were fixated on giving us the best life possible, materially. We moved around a lot, upgrading houses umpteenth times, and changing primary schools four times.. until we went bankrupt. We were new-age Christian. I was raised from a young age that "anything is possible," but it didn't match my parent's actions. We yo-yo'd between excess and lack, and eventually, my parents separated in my teens.
WORKSHOPS
Shadow / Inner Child / Uplevel
