Finding Authentic Partnership & Self Love
Name: Jemma D
Where do you reside?: Melbourne
What is your cultural upbringing and background?: Grew up along the east coast of Australia. I am an Aquarius Sun/Scorpio Moon/Capricorn Rising and a manifesting generator.
Are you currently a Pathway Member?: Yes
What was on your manifestation list?: I wanted to manifest a partner that was emotionally available, I could 100% be myself around, and was looking to be in a long-term committed relationship. To be honest, I made 100 lists, so there were many things that I was manifesting in this partner, and most of it did match up!
What workshops did you use and what blocks did you discover during the DIs & workshops?: - Unblocked Inner Child
- Unblocked Shadow
- Unblocked Love
- Unblocked No
- Authentic self DI
- Inner Child + Shadow integration DI
Blocks:
- I was afraid of finding someone that did want to love and commit to me
- I was attracted to drama and anxiety in a relationship because I thought this was exciting
- The type of people that I thought I wanted was more from ego than authenticity
What expanders did you find?: - My friends
- Family
- Movies
What tests did you face? Which did you pass? Not pass?: I faced A LOT of tests in dating surrounding boundaries and saying no. There were a few tests that I didn't pass, and this made me go on a break from dating/apps for a solid six months while I worked on myself during COVID lockdowns. I had to change a few of my friendships and lifestyle that felt more authentic to me. I had to stop numbing myself with things that weren't good for me, which was hard and were some of the biggest tests as well.
A couple of people that I went on dates with were almost on the list, but there were a few things missing, like emotional availability, flakiness, and me trying to force the relationship. I walked away and said no to these tests, and when I thought I was going to go back into a dating hiatus, my partner came through!
Did you experience a magic dark period? If so, tell us about it.: Yes. It was much shorter than I thought. When I said no to my last test, I stopped chasing people that I thought I wanted to date, but it was just coming from ego. I started to enjoy my own company and was just looking at dating as something to have fun with and not take too seriously. I didn't put a timeline on it and really surrendered to the process. Before I met my partner, it was going to be the last date that I was going to commit to, and if it wasn't for me, then I told myself I'd just go on a big break from dating again. The date was amazing, but I still approached it from a light-hearted perspective and this is why I think it finally happened for me.
How did your manifestation come through?: Through a dating app (Hinge). It came nine months after I began to fully call in a partner and craft my list and stick to it. It came with such ease and fun with the manifestation being even better than I imagined.
Here was my manifestation post:
Hi, fellow TBM friends out there - I'm currently working on being seen~ so I thought sharing my big manifestations would not only expand other people but also encourage me to be vulnerable (something I really struggle with), so here it goes....
I finally called in my first relationship at the age of 27 with the most AMAZING person for me that was legit everything on my list! (We have been going strong for a year and making solid future plans omg x 100000)
Here is a long-winded story, but it may help y'all out there who needs some hope in dating/relationships.
I've spent most of my life deciding that I was the independent lone-wolf woman who would be born alone and die alone. Never had a partner in high school or even close in my early twenties. I chose to spend this time moving, traveling or going out with friends, which of course, I will never regret but I definitely had this weird internal dance with myself when I would meet someone. It would go between not getting too close to getting hurt, but then when I did realize I had feelings, I was overcome with intense feelings of anxiety and desperation to keep them in my life. I guess you could say textbook avoidant/anxious attachment?
I spent YEARS choosing the wrong people who would come off strong initially, talk the talk, appear to want something more, then would either vanish or end things and fade out without ever committing (things were always casual or dating vibes). These things always felt so shit. I had endless crying on the floor, feelings of worthlessness, and thought that I would never be enough to have someone who would want to stick around and commit to a relationship even though I always preached to myself I didn't want one (lol in denial). I decided enough was enough, and I had to change myself and delve into my internal world. Educating myself using books + podcasts (Attached, Create the Love, Meditation, Expanders *Especially TBM, etc) really helped, and this is when things finally started to change.
After a hiatus during COVID lockdowns, I crafted my list and proceeded to put myself out there once again. I made a profile on a dating app that felt authentic to me and after coming to terms with the reality of me wanting a long-term relationship (half the battle really), and a series of awful, fun, hopeful, interesting and uplifting dates I was almost ready to call it quits again until I met my current partner.... result! Within this six-month period, I was doing DI's weekly, journaling, meditating, saying no, and staying authentic, mind you.
I was totally gobsmacked - I cannot make this up when I say they are everything that was on my list. Right down to appearance, curly dark hair, multinational background, career, interests, skills, and most of all, personality. I couldn't have made a sim this good.
I just want to say to anyone feeling like they just want to give up on dating, relationships, or whatever it is that no matter how down you feel about it - you deserve all of the love and whatever it is you want, even if you 100% don't believe it. I truly thought I would never have this, but patience, authenticity, finding self-love, TBM, and being gentle with the process really helped.
How long did it take for your manifestation to come through after crafting your initial list?: 8-9 months
How frequently were you using the workshops and DI's when you noticed the biggest shift surrounding your manifestation?: I did DI's minimum four days a week
How do you incorporate this work into your life on a daily basis? Any tips, tricks or recommendations for getting the most out of it, or personalizing it?: DI's work best for me when I'm in my room and have my journal near me. It works best for me when I'm journaling the day of doing a DI. If I have a thought that may be linked to unblocking/pings or expanders, I will write it down. I find that having a bath is a really good way for my pings to come through or to cleanse my mind and get clear about what I want. Also, space from others so I can really connect with my authentic self.
I found the most success came from being authentic. Really sticking to what I liked doing, reading, listening to, absorbing, and only collecting material items that felt like me. Decluttering my life constantly and up-leveling the things that were around me made me feel like I was progressing and manifesting.
WORKSHOPS
Shadow / Inner Child / Love / Boundaries / DREs
